The letter in the Readers’ Forum last month, titled “Dating the right Way,” prompted me to respond.
Many of the ways others date and court bug me, but that being said, what is the right way to date? Or more importantly, is there one right way?
“Just be yourself” or “just take your time” is not an answer. These relative terms are very open to interpretation. It’s YOUR self, and YOUR time defined by YOUR ideals from YOUR experiences, which no one but you and God really know anything about.
It seems illogical, unintelligent and controlling to offer a suggestion (be yourself) with a relative response (how the recipient defines it) when expecting a specific response (be who I expect you to be).
I will propose a “natural way.” I think on a basic level, we are animals. Men, be men. Be strong, commanding, confident, upstanding, honest and true, and everything women need to feel secure. Women, be women. Be gentle, kind, loving, emotional, intelligent. Everything we are, be.
How you will demonstrate these qualities is up to you. How you will perform these duties is up to you. Sometimes it takes five minutes, others five years to figure out. Some need to laugh loud, some not at all. As long as you are loyal to God, I don’t think it matters how you do anything. The issue is not “a right way to date” but more a “judge ye not” approach.
Stop guessing how people should be. Remember, you don’t know much of anything about anyone, except yourself.
Justen Despain
Yakima, Wash.
