I have to say that I was bothered by the article “Leaving with a diploma but not a ring” (4/12). I know full well the culture of BYU and that marriage is wonderful, but is that BYU’s purpose? Is that contained somewhere in the mission statement? Getting married? The article communicated an underlying tone of “if you don’t get married at BYU, all your good chances for getting married are gone.” That is a rash generalization. What about all the other people in the church who do not get the opportunity to go to BYU? Will they never find some one to marry either?
I actually think that dating at BYU is more difficult than other places. Right from the get-go there is a pressure to marry, and many people rush into marriage too soon for fear of missing their chance. Sometimes it feels like the last day to get a date to the prom. What ever happened to getting married at the right time, right place and to the right person? That should be our focus. In addition, each person is different in their approach to getting married and have their own time frame for when they are ready.
Elder Oaks once said, “In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time. People who do the right thing at the wrong time can be frustrated and ineffective. They can even be confused about whether they made the right choice when what was wrong was not their choice but their timing.” (BYU devotional 2002)
I for one plan to graduate this week without flinching, and without a ring, and not because I don’t someday want one. I want it in the right time, and with the right person, not in combination with my undergraduate degree. Personally, I would appreciate articles of more substance in the newspaper besides the subculture of being a student at BYU.