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Understanding women in dating; men, Venus is closer than you think

By
John Ternieden
-
February 9, 2012
363
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    Friday night is date night and women all over campus are preparing to get their hair right and model their outfits in front of their roommates to decide on the perfect thing to wear.

    It’s no secret that when it comes to dating and the race to tie the knot, BYU is doing victory laps around most schools.

    Photo illustration by Chris Bunker

    “I think it’s scary how fast people get married here at BYU,” said Kendra Sherman, a senior from The Woodlands, Texas, studying piano performance. “I’ve heard of people getting engaged after only knowing each other for two weeks.”

    While dating culture at the Y may be comparable to a rampant disease, navigating the dating jungle is just as foreign to the fresh freshmen as it is to the super seniors. This is most likely because marriage is so incredibly important that students often over-complicate the issue.

    “What [are] girls looking for? A guy who has a good sense of humor, someone down to earth, someone that is not head over heels in love with themselves,” said Mark Ogletree, an associate visiting professor in the Department of Church History and Doctrine, in an email. “They want a guy who loves the gospel, is well balanced and doesn’t come on too strong.”

    Along with Ogletree, women are lining up and echoing his words.

    “I wanted my dates to be kind, funny, honest and patient,” said Kamrie Kingston, a senior from The Woodlands, Texas, studying exercise and wellness. “If something went wrong I didn’t want him to get angry and frustrated.”

    When women finally decide their hair is perfect and the outfit is chosen, their thoughts focus completely on their date. Tiffany Wixom, a senior from Draper, studying art history, said her date will be evaluated from the beginning of the date until the end.

    “When he opens the door, I want him to smile and be happy to see me,” Wixom said. “I want conversation in the car, and for him to be interested in me. Lastly, I want a fun activity where we can talk and have fun.”

    Like a bad math problem, finding the right date is something that men often fear, but women aren’t expecting an extravagant plan, just something simple.

    “Effective dates [involve getting] to know a person,” Ogletree said. “Build something together, solve a problem, do a service project of some kind, do something that is physical and perhaps a little strenuous. You cannot only see each other when you are all ‘foo-fooed’ up. ”

    First impressions are important, and they can mean the difference between future dates and the silent treatment. To achieve date number two, women emphasize that men must live up to the dating code.

    “Guys need to open the doors, be willing to pay for a meal and focus on their dates,” Sherman said.

    Every woman is different and each has her own needs, but it is the responsibility of the guys to step up, be the best they can be and cherish their dates.

    “At the end of the day all I want is good conversation, no awkwardness, a nice good-bye hug and maybe a follow-up text,” Wixom said.

    For a humorous look at girls’ expectations, see this parody by Divine Comedy:

    [easyembed field=”Vimeo”]

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    • TAGS
    • BYU
    • BYU dating
    • dating
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    • marriage
    • Ogletree
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