Dating as identical twins in Provo

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By Amy Griffin

For Morgan and Mckayla Smith, it’s not the usual issues of twin sisterhood getting them down — things like sharing possessions or people overtly comparing the two. Those were the problems of their childhood and teenage years. Nowadays, it’s finding two men who like them for who they are and don’t wish they were dating the other sister.

As kids, the Smiths thrived on their identical twin status, relishing the attention it brought to each of them. “I loved it,” Mckayla said. 

“It was like my role in life was to be a twin,” Morgan said.

Their shared identity cost them some level of individuality, however.

“On the other side of that, it’s like, who are we as individuals?” Morgan said. “Do people even recognize us as individuals? Are we just cool because we’re twins?”

The high level of similarities between the two tended to add a degree of comparison — both by the girls themselves and by their family and friends.

“People would think it was appropriate to say things to me like, ‘Oh, you’re the prettier twin,’ and they’d say the same things to her,” Mckayla said.

The boys in high school would comment on which twin was “hotter,” which Morgan said she still thinks about sometimes. “That hurt,” she said, “and it was just so rude.”

The constant comparison affected the sisters’ relationship. Though close, the two aren’t the best of friends to this day. Yet after missions and some college, Morgan, and Mckayla say they are pretty different.

“She’s studying animal science, I’m studying international relations,” Morgan said. Mckayla rides horses and works at the aquarium while Morgan rock climbs and writes political essays and analyses.

The stark differences between the two haven’t made the dating scene any easier, however. 

“It’s happened multiple times when a guy would say, ‘Can I take one of you on a date?’” Mckayla said.

“Pet peeve! They don’t even care which one,” Morgan said. “At least like, toss a coin before you come up to us and make it look like you thought about it!”

Several men have taken one of the Smiths on dates only to end up flip-flopping to the other sister when the first ends up rejecting them.

“It sometimes still happens that people will jump between the two of us,” Morgan said. “‘Didn’t work out with one, maybe it’ll work out with the other one.’”

It’s happened often enough that the sisters fear finally finding The One, only to have him fall for her twin.

“If (they) meet my twin sister, what if they find (my) twin sister to be the more attractive one?” Morgan said. 

“Yeah, what if they just think it’s you, new and improved?” Mckayla said.

The college dating scene isn’t all bad, though, the twins said. They’ve seen their fair share of twin switch-up movies, and it doesn’t look half bad.

“We always had this dream that we really wanted to do, where it’s like if we went on a double date with these guys that we didn’t know and if we were getting bored, switch places in the bathroom and come back out,” Mckayla said. Then they would wait to see if the boys notice.

For anyone hoping to shoot their shot with a twin, the Smiths have some advice.

“Don’t treat them the same. They’re individuals and take the time to get to know them as individuals and figure out whose personality you mesh with better, or who you’re more attracted to, whatever it may be,” Morgan said. “Then make a pointed decision to ask that person on a date. And if it doesn’t work out, don’t peddle back to the other twin.”

“You’re gonna get neither of them if you do that,” Mckayla said.

“That’s a surefire way to lose both of them and also just make them really angry,” Morgan said.

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