To serve or not to serve: The pressure is real
Almost as soon as my senior year began, the question I was asked the most regarding my post-high school plans was, “Are you going to serve a mission?” I was rarely asked anything about college, my major, etc., only a mission. I felt an extreme pressure from both girls and boys to serve a mission, and that pressure did not disappear with my move down to Provo, because of culture, concentration of missionaries, and the 2012 age change. Today, LDS girls are facing unnecessary pressure to serve a mission.
Missions are a topic on many minds at BYU because many students are close to mission age, have submitted papers, have a call, or have returned home from a mission. It’s a topic near and dear to the hearts of returned missionaries galore. For future missionaries, talking about it doesn’t even begin to satisfy their excitement. For those who are unsure of serving or aren’t planning on a mission, the pressure is very present and very real.
A large reason that girls feel this pressure is because of culture. Our world is drowning in tweets, likes, and Facebook updates. We constantly know what everyone else is doing at every second of the day. The danger of this is we begin to always compare ourselves and we develop a standard we hold ourselves to that is usually unrealistic. What do you see most on social media? Is it posts about when someone is opening their mission call? Where they are going? Cute poses of 3-4 girls all holding their little white letters? Or is it posts where friends write a deep meaningful “see ya in 2” caption with a cute half-crying, half-laughing picture? We are surrounded by updates about everything regarding people and their choices to serve missions. It’s hard to not feel pressured to be doing the same thing, but those who aren’t returned missionaries, leaving or planning on a mission can’t help but feel a little left out.
Social media is only one aspect of culture that is pressuring girls to serve. Another aspect is this idea that a mission is assumed to be better than any other post-high school pursuits. We get the feeling that a mission should immediately trump college in every situation when you are asked about a mission before being asked about college. Is it better to serve a mission than go to college? Does college even give you skills that are as valuable or better than those found in the mission field? How can we know when that is all we hear?
When I was a junior in high school, I attended a stake mission prep class with a friend. Throughout the class, the teacher repeatedly mentioned how his wife was a better mother and spouse purely because she served a mission and that we should all marry returned missionaries. It was something that I did not agree with and found to be an outrageous claim. It really struck me negatively and soured me on attending mission prep in the future. This is an extreme case, but since this experience I have heard the same opinion repeated in different ways all reflecting the idea that women are better after a mission and the only way to be the best wife, mother, or daughter is to serve a mission, which is wrong and continually makes girls feel pressured.
In the 2012 October General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson announced a change to the required mission age. The change seriously affected young LDS girls making it easier to leave sooner, and the result of this was thousands of more sister missionaries in the mission field.
Missions are good. Pressure is not. Missions should be served because you feel worthy and ready to dedicate your heart, might, mind, and strength to spreading the word of God. A mission shouldn’t be something you do because everyone else is. The age change was not put into effect so that we could all add it to our post-high school check list. For those of you who feel this pressure, know you aren’t alone and that you do not have to serve a mission. There are plenty of other ways to serve the Lord and spread His gospel. Don’t let the fads and pressures of the world stop you from cultivating your faith in Jesus Christ and His everlasting gospel.
Lauren Lethbridge
Lehi, Utah
