Things you will never miss about Provo

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Many people refer to Provo as the “Provo bubble” because the city of 115,500 has its own culture, fashion and language that evolve and spread among the residents.

Provo provides a good home and social atmosphere to those living here while they are in school. However, by the time graduation rolls around, many students are more than eager to leave this place behind.

Vanessa Laws, from Riverton, has been attending BYU for the past five years and is excited to graduate for the sole purpose that she can leave Provo behind. Laws said she wouldn’t change anything about her time here, but there are a few things she will never miss, one of which is the Provo All-Stars.

A sign welcomes drivers ito Provo on 800 South in Orem. (Elliott Miller)
A sign welcomes drivers ito Provo on 800 South in Orem. (Elliott Miller)

For those unfamiliar with the term Provo All-Star, Urban Dictionary defines it as, “A male 18-30 years old living in, or around, the city of Provo. He will either avoid marriage until his parents threaten to stop paying for school or immediately marry some dumb 18-year-old after he gets off his mission. He will usually find a job selling security systems making nothing of his life while wasting his parents’ money at BYU or UVU. If he goes to UVU he will say something like, ‘I chose to go here because of BYU’s honor code, not because of open enrollment.’ Provo All-Stars will show up to dance parties shirtless while wearing Ed Hardy sunglasses inside.”

“We all know who they are, and we all have had a negative experience with a Provo All-Star at one point or another,” Laws said. “The best part about leaving Provo is leaving its All-Stars behind.”

BYU graduating senior Parker Lewis, from American Fork, said the one thing he will not miss about living in Provo is the language trend of abbreviating every word.

“I don’t understand it,” Lewis said. “First of all, it makes people sound completely uneducated when they describe everything as ‘totes presh adorbs.’ Also, what is the point? How much time are you actually saving by abbreviating every little word?”

Many students are also glad to leave behind an unfamiliar driving culture and constant road construction. Those factors combined are enough to cause chaos.

BYU senior Adam Johnson, from Sacramento, Calif., has been a student for the past five years but has had to commute to Salt Lake for work and has experienced the hassle of road construction on an almost-daily basis.

“We will ignore the fact that Utahns are terrible drivers, but on top of that add drivers from across the country and around the world with terrible driving laws. It’s ridiculous. On top of it all, Utah is always under construction. Utah should remove the beehive from the state flag and replace it with one of those orange construction barrels. I just think it would be more fitting.”

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