By Laura Sanderson
In an unstable time when war and nuclear threats dominate national concern, many point fingers at world leaders whose tyrannical powers seem to be creating international chaos. Hussein. Bin Laden. Kim.
Yet, by keeping alert on a domestic level, I have managed to pinpoint a person within our very own borders who poses a greater threat to our country and its interests than any Middle Eastern madman.
This person is J.Lo.
Using her huge assets, diverse projects and legion of fans as promotional vehicles, J.Lo has reinvented herself as American royalty. Now, reinvention would suggest that she has a former identity, which many of you have forgotten.
Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo before she dropped 10 apparently cumbersome letters from her name) started as a Fly Girl on Fox”s “In Living Color.” She did not sing; she did not try her hand at drama; she just danced.
But somewhere between “The Cell” and “The Wedding Planner” J.Lo managed to captivate the attention of America. Thrusting her hand into every media-oriented pot, she literally forced her way into the public”s heart.
She scored parts as two-bit characters, cut over-produced albums and dated Puff Daddy, a self-proclaimed national treasure.
Now the American people are transfixed by her every move. They want to know what she”s buying, wearing and eating. They want to watch her, listen to her and wear her trademark scent.
They also obsess over her love life, though it”s kind of hard to remember who she is marrying or divorcing on any given day.
Not since Princess Diana have a people been so fixated on a single woman. The problem is, Princess Di had charitable causes and a limited scope. She struggled to be a princess, much less a public idol.
J.Lo, on the other hand, is doing everything she can to increase her power and visibility. The paparazzi don”t intimidate her; they fuel her publicity engine. Without them, she would be Jennifer Lopez. With them, she is J.Lo… and, frankly, J.Lo scares me.
The unraveling of the U.N.? J.Lo”s fault. She wants to start up her own international organization to punish inhumane activity, like critics who disparage her acting.
The economic recession? J.Lo”s bad. She spends such obscene amounts of money on things like face cream that her fans are too embarrassed to spend a cent in comparison.
Her image is unavoidable. The gossip mill is her virtual diary. She has control over the thoughts and actions of humankind. She is a threat larger than any Iraqi dictator. She must be stopped, no matter the cost.
But don”t try talking to W. about the crisis. He is blinded by her feigned innocence and sincerity. And, besides, he owns the DVD of “Angel Eyes.”
