Dear Editor:
I believe the elevators in the Kimball Tower are not just old and run down, but possessed by evil spirits. Apparently, the university has appropriated money for an elevator renewal fund of sorts, but so far it seems that such funds have not yet made their way into the Kimball Tower.
Since I do not think the elevators will be upgraded anytime soon, it is imperative that someone in the college should conduct an exorcism right away. There is something spooky about doors which don’t close all the way until they feel like it, elevators that go beyond where they are supposed to and all end up on the 11th floor for long periods of time. (Maybe they like to chat with each other up there.)
Perhaps, on second thought, the elevators are not possessed. Rather, the elevator gods who control the conduct of the elevators are angry at the abuse they receive. If I were an elevator god, I would be angry at the people who ignore the signs in the lobby suggesting that those going to the first or third floors ought to take the stairs.
There is nothing more annoying than having someone hop onto the elevator on the second floor as the doors have finally decided to close, only to have them go one floor up (remember we have to wait another five minutes for the doors to close again).
Let’s appease the elevator gods and think about our elevator riding habits.
Jon Eskelsen
Redmond, Wash.
