Dump pennies and nickels
I propose we eliminate the penny and nickel coin by Jan. 1, 2010. These relics clutter our lives and cost the government millions to produce. They are no longer relevant in our culture.
All that is required to implement this change is a round-off rule for the odd penny at the end of any figure. Round-down 1 to 5 cents to zero, and round-up 6 to 9 cents to the nearest dime. Simple math.
Apology from loyal fan
To the entire student body, faculty and most especially to the men’s basketball team I would like to make a formal public apology. There are times in our lives when we know we have made mistakes and the only way to forgive ourselves and allow the healing process to begin is admitting them.
The transgression I have made affected us all Thursday, especially our excellent men’s basketball team. It is entirely my fault we were narrowly defeated by Xavier. I accept full responsibility. You see, I didn’t wear my lucky shirt. I wore this shirt when we defeated Air Force, both times, as well as many of our other important games. I would choose to wear this shirt on game days out of duty for our team, and because of my shirt we didn’t lose. I can’t say I was the cause for our winning; it is obvious the team played amazing so many times. By wearing my shirt, I could only take credit for warding off the bad luck that can sometimes happen, like it did against Xavier.
There are many excuses I was giving to myself for not wearing it: it is long sleeved, it was a warm day and I wanted to save it for when we would’ve played Ohio State. Ultimately these excuses don’t count, and I have learned my lesson.
If, by chance, I will not be kicked out of the school, I will now re-prioritize my wardrobe decisions for future important events. Please forgive me, and let us all move on looking forward to more great seasons of BYU sports.
Keep MySpace blocked
Why must we always jump to conclusions? Why must we always assume it’s about religion or the Honor Code? Why can’t something just be so because it’s a good idea? Unbeknownst to some, there is actually some academic research and other scholarly work going on at BYU.
For those engaged in this work the Internet is much more valuable at gathering information than idling away their time. The Internet allows them accesses to large volumes of information: patents, scholarly papers and huge streams of research related data. The ability we have to access and assimilate information and the speed at which we can do so surpasses that of any other culture at any other time in the history of the world.
However when people choose to idly peruse music and short videos of some poor teenager acting out his Star Wars light-saber techniques the speed at which this information is available grinds to a halt. So it really isn’t about the Honor Code then, is it? It’s about bandwidth.
Blaming everyone else
I would just like to speak out against all the immodestly dressed, non-Honor Code abiding sinners who gamble on the NCAA tournament. These are probably the same people who don’t stop when the national anthem is played. These people should stop judging other people and just not judge other people and it’s all BYUSA’s fault.