By Tiffany Bird
Sometimes our problem is that we don”t care. It seems easier to brush off a roommate problem than to confront them. But how far can we push the limit until confrontation is necessary? How much are we willing to put up with it until we cannot “just deal with it” anymore?
This is a case of, what I would like to call, “confrontational avoidance.” Let me give you an example from my own experience. In my last apartment, I lived with three girls. We decorated our apartment to the best of our ability and there was the cute white board where we would leave each other messages. The notes started out to be the usual girly notes such as, “Good luck on your finals!” or “Have a great day everyone!” with the smiley face or a daisy on the side.
Then winter semester came around and I got engaged, other roommates was dating seriously or was busy with social life, school and work. No one could catch us at home and when we do see each other, it was a quick hello and good-bye. That was also the time when the message board began to fill up with hate notes. “Do your own dishes!” or “Clean up your own mess in the kitchen!” Not that our apartment was messy or anything, and surely everyone in the apartment contributed to the mess in the kitchen at one time or another.
I was quickly bothered by these hate notes because did my part of the chores as well as helped out others if I had the time. But the other roommates didn”t seem to care and got even more into the attitude of, “I didn”t use that spoon, so I”m not going to put it in the dishwasher.” Rather than confronting my roommates about these hate notes, I just brushed it aside. Weeks of these hate notes went by and I got to the point where I started to leave hate notes back. Never did I talk to my roommates about this issue and when we do see each other, we pretend that the hate notes were not there and we were nice to each other.
So in the case of last week”s letter to the editor, “Honor code is costly,” I see the same situation going on. One way to resolve this problem is to get the other roommates involved. Through personal experience, another editor here at The Daily Universe, kicked out a roommate for Honor Code violations by getting another roommate to voucher his reason. “In the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” (Doctrine and Covenants 128:3)
It seems Kevin”s roommates brushed off the problem of their non-BYU student roommate violating the Honor Code by showering with his girlfriend. If the other roommates were bothered as much as Kevin was and they all went to their landlord complaining, the landlord must do something about it. If the landlord still doesn”t do anything about the situation, then he is not upholding the contract that you signed. Every BYU approved housing consented to abide by the BYU Honor Code and Residential Living Standards. As a tenant, you sign a contract saying you will keep the BYU Honor Code whether you are a BYU student or not because that is the housing rule set by your landlord.
Also under letter F of the BYU Off-Campus Housing Policy Handbook 13.06.21 which is “Termination by student,” it states, “After written notice from the student of any material, substantial, or continuing breach of this agreement by the landlord or of a failure of the landlord to take reasonable steps to maintain the BYU Residential Living Standards and the landlord fails to correct the problem within a reasonable amount of time, the student may terminate without penalty or further contractual obligation upon written notice of termination, or, in the alternative if requested by the student, the student may receive a rebate in rent as determined in arbitration or a court of law.”
So there it is in black and white, go after your landlord for not upholding the contract, which you signed with the apartments and get your former roommates involved. Something this big has got to bother them as much as it bothers you, especially if they are BYU students.
Living the Honor Code comes to the point of whether you do or whether you don”t, there are not shady in-betweens involved. Don”t get caught up in the confrontational avoidance that it prevents you from living in a healthy and clean home. As taught in church, stay away from the extremes, and just do your best to help yourself as well as your neighbors (roommates) choose the right and live the higher law.
