By David Johnson
As I watched the remaining seconds slip away at Rice-Eccles Stadium, it became abundantly clear that our Cougar Football team was not going to win the last game of the season, securing that modicum of respectability: the .500 record. The game ended and I sat and thought. I pondered the season. I couldn”t remember a season so absolutely wretched since…well, since forever.
Now, it”s important that you know – I”ve been a Cougar fan since birth. Large portions of my childhood memories revolve around the Cougs. Every morning I awoke to my parents belting, “Rise all loyal Cougars.” In Arizona, as a child I was asked why every church building had a satellite dish. I replied, “So we can get the BYU football games,” and that was honestly the only use of the church satellite system I could think of. And if you want even more proof, I can pronounce even the most complicated multi-syllabic Polynesian name with the greatest of ease.
When I arrived home after the game I did some research and it seems there is actually a reason why this season felt like the most pitiful effort ever. It”s because IT IS!
The last time BYU had a record this deplorable was in 1970 under Tom Hudspeth. Wow, Tom Hudspeth – now there”s a name I”ve always connected with Cougar greatness.
If my math is correct, then I don”t have a single peer in any of my classes that would have been alive, much less old enough, to remember the ”70 Cougs 3-8 disaster. However, lest I be accused of giving Brother Hudspeth the short end of the stick, the ”70 team did tie for 7th in the conference, whereas we own the #7 spot outright. Oh wait, what am I saying, tying for 7th is another way of saying sharing last place. I have to admit that there is some comfort in knowing one team in the conference bit it even harder then we did.
Now I”m a fair minded man so it should be stated that even the great LaVell Edwards had a 5-6 losing effort in his second year as head coach, although finishing in the center of the conference.
This years 5-7 record probably wouldn”t have been so hard to swallow if we hadn”t had such powerful athletic marketing enticing us to follow the team with such fervor. Who can really say no to the request, “Bring the family, Bring a casserole?” I know I can”t. “Please hold to the iron rod until you safely reach your seat.” Yeah, tell that to the girl who needed seven stitches in her forehead after a run-in with a flying corn tortilla. “The best offense is a good offense.” How about, the best offense is one that outscores the other team.
Well for all you down trodden cougar fans let me share with you a ray of hope. Historically in the year following a losing football season, women”s volleyball has been unstoppable. Over the past 35 years, the combined record of the women”s team has been 59-8 in such years. So good luck Coach Michaelis and all you volleyballers. History is on your side.
