As someone raised in the glorious state of California, I feel I must take it upon myself to help out some of the less fortunate here at the BYU. I’d just like to take a few moments to give some tips to the many students I’ve observed over the past couple of weeks who just don’t seem to get it.
Tip #1: Never, ever wear socks with sandals or thongs. If it’s too cold to wear sandals without socks, don’t wear sandals. Also, if your feet are too nasty to leave uncovered, then what are you doing wearing sandals in the first place?
Tip#2: Thongs and sandals are to be worn with shorts, BAGGY jeans, or exercise pants. They are NEVER to be worn while dressed-up. The whole point of the “look” of thongs is that you’re relaxed. If you’re wearing a tie, then you obviously spent WAY too much time that morning on your appearance to be relaxed. Why BAGGY jeans? Well, you may not have been aware of it, but the last time we wrote the date with an “80” in it, was 11 years ago. Enough said.
Tip#3: Cut your toenails, clean the dirt out from underneath them, and wash your feet. We all know that you want us to be aware of how much fun you had in Moab last weekend, but trust me when I say that that’s all ready obvious from the exaggerated limp you’re using to show how “sore” you are from the hike, and all the scabs you accumulated from the many spills you took on your incredible mountain biking extravaganza.
Tip#4: This is not a complete requirement, but for you sisters, a little paint goes a long way on those nails. It’s scary to look over at what you think is a guy’s pair of feet, only to look up and realize that that “guy” is wearing a pair of Roxy shorts and a Girl Power T-shirt.
Tip#5: Enjoy the summer. It’s the greatest season no matter where you’re from, even if summer in Utah means excursions to the desert, or filling your days attending all those weddings that were planned throughout the fall and winter semesters. Whatever the activity, it’s great to see so many having fun in the sun, with or without a beach to have it on.