MARCI VON SAVOY
Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the innate role of a large Austrian body-builder with a heart the size of the rest of his muscles in the holiday flick, “Jingle All the Way.”
Schwarzenegger, or Howard Langston, the businessman, the husband and the father, cannot seem to balance his life and has difficulty putting his family first. After missing a monumental moment in his son’s life — his karate belt advancement ceremonies — Langston desperately wants to make amends.
In honor of our materialistic society, Langston promises his son the most envied, sought after toy on the market for Christmas: the Turbo-Man doll. Turbo-man is Hollywood’s exaggerated equivalent of the Mighty Morphine Power Rangers and perhaps is in the same demand in “Jingle All the Way” as were Cabbage Patch Kids during the holiday shopping season of 1984.
The saga begins on Christmas Eve when Langston realizes amid the season of giving that he completely forgot to buy a Turbo-Man doll for his son, and thus the plot simmers as the remainder of the film takes the audience on a masochistic tour of last-minute Christmas shopping.
Schwarzenegger is not alone in his seemingly futile quest for the last Turbo Man doll in the Twin Cities, for he is surrounded by a myriad of militant, procrastinating parents searching for the same prize for their children to open on Christmas morning. Schwarzenegger not only battles toy store lines, inflated holiday prices and heinous traffic, but he breaks down radio station doors, ventures through a kiddie playground in the mall and gets entangled with a con-artist St.Nick (James Belushi), all to come home empty-handed. In desperation, he even tries to steal his neighbors’ Turbo Man doll right from under their tree.
“Jingle All Way” uses the same chuckle tactics as Schwarzenegger’s other comedy attempts. Like “Kindergarten Cop,” “Jingle All the Way” has a smattering of cute kids saying cute things to a big, out-of-place Austrian. The movie also features classic slapstick humor characteristic of its producer Chris Columbus’ style. Columbus also produced “Home Alone.”
It was not Schwarzenegger, however, that secured the little bits of humor in the movie, but in fact it was the appendage roles played by Phil Hartman and Sinbad.
Hartman plays Ted Maltin, a single-father version of the Eddie Haskill archetype. On his front he poses as a super-sweet (with a sour aftertaste) father and friend. While Langston is hunting for a Turbo Man doll on Christmas Eve, Maltin kindly keeps Liz (Rita Wilson), Langston’s wife company: he helps her make Christmas cookies, escorts her to the Christmas parade and then lays down his much unwelcomed gigolo suave.
Sinbad, “Myron Larabee,” plays a neurotic single father and a disgruntled postal worker, who like Langston is on a deadline pursuit for that blasted doll. Larabee’s roll in the film is that of classic annoyance and hindrance to Langston’s ultimate goal. Sinbad’s character also offers a few quotable lines.
