Readers’ Forum Feb. 9


Chivalry can be revived

In the South, there is a certain guide upon which all relationships are built. What ever happened to holding the door for a woman? How did the classical “ma’am” become lost, only to be replaced by society’s “bae”? Boys, if you want to get off your couch this Friday night and spend it with someone else other than your mother, it is time for you to take notes.

As a general rule of thumb, though prone to some exceptions, the guy should make the first move. In today’s world many boys like to take a less risky approach, contacting the girl via social media rather than face to face. This protects boys from rejection. Social media is not the place to start relationships. A guy should be man enough to go up to a girl and talk to her face to face. Did social interaction ever actually hurt anyone?

It does not have to be much, boys; a simple compliment followed by getting-to-know-you questions should suffice. Do not be afraid to get her number, so that you can talk more and get to know each other. By doing this, you display confidence and interest in her and what she does.

This is now the pivotal moment. Boys, there is a chance that she says no. As hockey great Wayne Gretzky (and apparently Michael Scott) said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

Another key trait shared among chivalrous men is to hold the door for women. By opening the door the man signals to the woman that she is of utmost importance and demonstrates a great deal of respect that will not go unnoticed.

Men in the South are so chivalrous that they protect their dates by walking on the sidewalk closest to the cars. The odds of a car coming off the road and up the curb are small, but the chance of getting splashed with slush or water is not!

When at the table, a Southern man is aware of his surroundings. He helps the woman to sit down first and then sits. His elbows never rest on the table. He waits until he finishes the bite in his mouth before speaking. He does not assume that the date is “Dutch”. Again, these things may seem to be small bits of advice, but can make a landslide difference in whether there is ever a second date.

Southern men always control their language. The first word out of a man’s mouth is either, “ma’am” or, “sir”. While boys are prone to say unappealing words, men never use them around women. Neither man nor woman should have the desire to talk about crude, crass, or even inappropriate subjects with one another. Social refinement is required to become a true gentleman.

Women, I do ask for one thing. You must realize that your date is somewhat nervous. He is not sure if you like his cologne, or if his toothpaste wore off, or if you like the music playing on the radio. Recognize that he might be new to “being a gentleman” and is still working out the kinks. Have patience with him, encourage him by complimenting his chivalrous behavior, and be happy that he is trying.

— Christopher Fore
Boiling Springs, South Carolina

Let there be light

It was 7:00 and pitch black. It was so dark that I almost tripped down the three mere steps leading down from the Wilk. I looked around to see if anyone noticed my near faux paw, but there was only a few silent, dark shadows meandering across campus.

I tried to look confident as the click of my stilettos broke the tangible silence yet, all I could think about was the maroon clad groper or the bald streaker with the “sizable paunch” that haunted my email inbox. My phone was dead — of course — and I attempted to recount the protocol for moments like these when I felt that every passing stranger was following me. The main source of advice was to walk in lit places. I desperately scanned for a street lamp of sorts, but it was all in vain.

How is it that the Church specifically advises members to be lights unto the world, and yet their main religious university only has measly plant back lighting to illuminate its students’ paths? If BYU wants to know how to stop stalker and sexual assault incidents, it should use some of its sizeable funding to buy some more lamp posts on main campus. Thousands of students take classes after dark and their safety could be better protected by the simple implementation of a few lights.

— Brigitta Teuscher
Portland, Oregon

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