By Sunny Layne
“Moist golden sponge cake.
Creamy white filling of joy.
Boy, I love Twinkies!
Enriched flour and
water, sugar, corn syrup
oils – many kinds…”
Two college students at Rice University, Christopher Gouge and Todd Stadler, are so inspired by Hostess Twinkies, they created an extensive Web site detailing seven elaborate Twinkies experiments, coupled with results in Haiku (as written above).
Twinkiesproject.com — short for “Tests With Inorganic Noxious Kakes In Extreme Situations,” is worth a visit for any Twinkie-lover or anyone who knows a lover of Twinkies.
The seven Twinkie trials include experiments such as a gravitational response test, a radiation test, a rapid oxidation test and more.
It is important to note that each experiment is measured against a “Control Twinkie,” which stays safely in its wrapper.
The gravitational response test begins by dropping a Twinkie off the sixth floor of a building.
The only injury the Twinkie sustained was a small fissure.
In the “Possible Applications” section of the gravitational write-up, Gouge and Stadler conclude, “If one needed to jump off of the sixth floor of a building and land safely, one could either pad the ground or one”s self with Twinkies.”
In the radiation test, the Twinkie endures 10 long, hot minutes inside the microwave.
After producing profuse amounts of smoke, the budding scientists concluded, “If one wanted to set off the equivalent of a smoke bomb in a place where all one had was a Twinkie and a microwave, one could duplicate this experiment, setting the microwave for 10 minutes on “HI.” This would give enough time for one to run away quickly.”
Other valuable tidbits the Twinkie experiments discover are: Twinkies, when doused with rubbing alcohol, could be an acceptable substitute for firewood; do not build a castle or fortress out of Twinkies; and, if one is packing for a trip and wants to take 100 Twinkies but only has room for 32, it is possible to compress the Twinkies, thus, making room for all the Twinkies.
The Twinkiesproject.com has attracted the attention of newspapers, radio programs, other web pages and even TV shows.
It”s worth a visit. You may never look at the little yellow cakes the same way again.