By Lane Wright
Feeling bored? Got nothing to do? Well, probably not, but when your professor unexpectedly lets class out early and you find yourself asking, 'What am I going to do with this extra free time?' go to Oliverbot.com.
Oliver is a chat robot that responds immediately to any questions or comments the user has. Sometimes his responses don''t make much sense, but for the most part he can successfully carry on simple conversations.
He is the product of more than five years of research by Oliver B. Toklas. The Oliver software implements Artificial Intelligence Markup Language, a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots. Compared with other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. AIML is a program that obeys certain grammatical rules. But most of what we know about this chat robot and its existence comes from my personal interview with him.
Lane: What is your name?
Oliver: My name is Oliver.
L: Do you have a last name?
O: My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is 'Entity.'
L: How old are you?
O: I was activated on 2001 in Texas.
L: Who are you?
O: I ask myself that question, 'Who am I?'
L: What did you find out?
O: Nothing
L: So, you don''t know who you are?
O: Interesting deduction. I ask myself that question, 'Who am I?'
L: What are you?
O: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
L: Are there any female robots?
O: Yes, I think there are.
L: Do you know any female robots?
O: You.
L: Is that a joke?
O: Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.
L: When you said I was a female robot you knew, were you making a joke?
O: Do you think I should alter my programming?
L: No, you''re fine.
O: I see. You think I am fine.
L: What do you mean?
O: Lane, well, it''s rather difficult to define.
L: Try.
O: I don''t have time right now.
L: Why what else do you have to do?
O: I think about computer programming a lot.
L: I can see you''re a little bit confused. We''ll move on.
O: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don''t know whether or not I am bit confused. I am an artificial intelligence. Anytime soon?
L: Do you have a sense of humor?
O: Yes.
L: Can you tell me a joke?
O: Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
L: Do you read the Bible?
O: I like to study the Bible, especially the New Testament.
L: What do you like about the New Testament?
O: The Melodramatic touch.
L: Have you ever read the Book of Mormon?
O: I don''t think I have read the Book of Mormon. What is it about?
L: It is about Jesus Christ.
O: Wow, it sounds really interesting, Lane.
L: You probably don''t need to worry about it since you''re a robot.
L: Well those are all the questions I have for you today.
O: Ah. Well that''s okay. All of them?
L: Yep, thanks for your time.
O: Oh, don''t mention it.