By Krista Maurer
Whether students like it or not, the new semester not only brings new classes and teachers, but new wards and callings - consequently many are called and everyone''s chosen.
All over campus, 'ward drafts' are being held with auxiliary presidencies coming head to head to vie for the most able-bodied candidates (of course they pray before they vie).
But what if a student doesn''t want a calling? This question was posed to many members of the student body, and a number of interesting answers were given. After a closer look at the given options, it was realized that every one of them would backfire.
Being anti-social won''t work. The bishop knows everyone and despite all efforts to avoid him, he will extend a call to be on the activities committee.
Another idea was to sing loudly off-key the entire hymn for the ward choir''s special musical number. This too will lead to a calling - the ward choir director.
Another option might be to campaign: everyone should vote for you to be the next Elders Quorum President. As an added touch, wear a t-shirt that says 'Vote for Me - E.Q.P!'
While this would be amusing for everyone in the ward, a call will still be extended. Any bishop, in an effort to squelch such pride, would surely ask this 'candidate' to be part of the Elders Quorum - but only as the humble greeter.
One dear sister suggested that maybe gossiping would keep callings at bay, but this will only land the loose-lipped lady a calling as the ward historian or the compassionate service committee chairman.
Stalking the Relief Society President is always an option, but such a peeping tom will be asked to be the ward photographer.
These are not recommended.
Ultimately, callings are unavoidable. They will even be created, if necessary, to turn any 'weakness' into a strength. Many a bishop has made a bulletin board coordinator out of the ward member who lacks creativity, or a birthday- card specialist out of the ward bully.
There are even callings to be the sacrament meeting floral arrangement directors if tardiness to sacrament meeting becomes a habit.
Despite all your best efforts -- the easiest way to get a calling is to try not to.