What do Hussein, Hitler, Stalin and Castro all have in common? Moustaches! They are trying to hide something under there. It is their sinister life. Men in moustaches - excepting General Authorities - are all evil. It is obvious. Even one of the early Tellytubbies had a Foo Man Chu. Do we see the problem? We must increase the facial shaving policy on campus to include 'above the lip' hair removal. This will protect our perfect campus from the torments of hairy ideas.
BEN RAY
Provo