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The NFL may look glamorous from the outside, but for most players and their families, it’s a relentless grind.
Behind the spotlight are the struggles and realities that few people see. As the sister of an NFL practice squad player, I’ve had a front-row seat to these challenges.
My older brother, Matt Bushman, married Emily Lewis, whose father, Chad Lewis, is an NFL veteran and BYU legend. Through their experiences and those of others, I’ve learned just how ruthless the NFL can be for families.
I sat down with my sister-in-law, Emily, to talk about what life in the league really looks like. My brother joined in for a few questions, and I also interviewed four wives of BYU alumni who have recently transitioned into the NFL and faced similar hardships: Bre Hall (Jaren Hall), Jordynn Christiansen (Brady Christiansen), Maddie Empey (James Empey), and Grace LaChance (Harris LaChance).
Transitioning from BYU to the NFL
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Jaren Hall was the starting quarterback at BYU for two years before being drafted by the Minnesota Vikings in 2023. He and his wife, Bre, have two children, Jayda and Kyler.
“It was such a big drop,” Bre said. “That's what's hard to deal with — going from being the guy to, ‘Okay, you're a rookie, you're literally the lowest it can go, and you have to work for it.
“Rookie year is the busiest, especially as a quarterback. I wasn't prepared for the amount of time he was spending away,” Bre added. “With college, he had school, but outside of practice, he was home. In the league, it's all day.”
Matt put it simply: “Each college team has a handful or less of people potentially making it to the NFL. And the NFL is a small percentage of that at every position, so the best of the best.
“In college, you’re doing it for the love of the game. In the NFL, it becomes a job, and the stress of being fired becomes real. Every single movement matters. If you’re one step behind, you’re exposed," he added.
Navigating the Practice Squad
Each NFL team has a two-month offseason camp called organized team activities, or OTAs. By the end of OTAs, teams finalize their 53-man roster and select an additional 16 players for the practice squad.
Practice squad players participate in nearly all team activities. They attend every practice, meeting, and team meal, but they don’t travel or play in games. Their position is far from secure; they can be cut, promoted to the active roster, or signed by another team at any time.
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Harris LaChance, for example, signed with the Indianapolis Colts as an undrafted free agent in 2023.
“Training camp was really stressful and overwhelming, always wondering, ‘Okay, is he going to have a spot? Am I going to get a call that he got cut?’” said his wife, Grace. “It’s those preseason times before they solidify the 53-man roster and practice squad that are so stressful for everyone.”
Practice squad players stay prepared at all times. They could be called up with little notice, even hours before a game.
“You can be brought up at a moment's notice, for any game all season. You always have to be in town, mentally ready, in case they call your number,” said Emily, who saw her husband Matt experience this firsthand. “He was usually given a day’s notice — one time it was just 16 hours.”
Brady Christiansen, an offensive guard, was drafted in the third round of the 2021 NFL Draft by the Carolina Panthers. His wife, Jordynn, explained the financial reality for many players in the league.
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“Right off the bat, what’s super surprising is the gap in pay between players who are doing the same work on the same team. You have players on the practice squad, getting pulled up occasionally or sometimes not at all, and then you have top players making hundreds of millions of dollars,” Jordynn said.
“People hear ‘NFL’ and think money, but they don’t realize there are players living day to day. Sure, they’re making a decent amount, but they might not have a job tomorrow,” she said. “And what are they going back to? My husband didn’t graduate college. He declared early for the draft, so he would have nothing to go back to, and now he’s years behind anyone else his age.”
Being around NFL stars like Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce has shown Matt just how tricky it can be to chase the dream.
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“It’s easy for guys making the league minimum to try to mimic what super high-earning guys are doing for the clout or image. That’s why so many people go broke, because the average career isn’t that long,” Matt said.
“You dream of having a career like Travis Kelce, and you think, ‘Oh, he’s just a normal guy. He made it, so I probably will, too.’ But thankfully, I never tried to compete in that way. Some guys do, and it can catch up to them fast.”
Dealing with Roster Cuts
Injuries and roster cuts are part of the NFL’s harsh reality, but the challenges players and their families face extend far beyond what fans see on TV.
James Empey signed with the Dallas Cowboys in 2022 and later spent time with the Miami Dolphins, Tennessee Titans and Green Bay Packers. His wife, Maddie, described how they adapted to the uncertainty of his career.
“We packed a box that had everything we would need in an apartment: salt, pepper, a pan, some towels, the basics. We had this box and this mindset, whether we used it or not, like, ‘Hey, this is the life we've chosen right now, and we're going to make the best of it. We're going to be prepared for whatever comes,’” she said.
That mindset was necessary as they encountered the reality of NFL roster decisions.
“If someone they’ve invested significantly more money in gets injured, whether their position is related to you or not, they’ll fill that position with your spot because they’re not paying you as much,” said Maddie. “A person on defense could get hurt, and someone on offense who’s doing great can still get cut.”
In 2023, James was released by the Titans a week into fall camp. While Maddie packed their things in Utah, James flew to Green Bay for a potential spot with the Packers. But midway through his flight, he got a call from a coach: a defensive player had been injured, and the Packers no longer had a spot for him. He had to change his flight and head back to Utah, leaving them in limbo waiting for the next call that neither of them knew would ever come.
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Bre and Jaren faced similar hardships with cuts.
“This year, we planned to go back to Minnesota. He’d done the whole camp with them, and I was in Utah with Kyler, who was so little — I’d just had him. Those six weeks apart were hard. We didn’t know whether to buy plane tickets to Minnesota or start sorting out housing there. Everything felt so uncertain,” said Bre.
“He made the roster, so I finally started looking for a place to live. But within a day, he was waived, and Seattle picked him up. I had to shift gears. Within two days, I packed everything and moved to Seattle. We didn’t even have a place to stay, we ended up staying with our stake president until we figured things out.”
Having a home base has given Bre and Jaren more peace of mind.
“Luckily, we have our house in Utah now. We got it last offseason, so we always have a home base. It makes me feel a lot better to have that.”
Handling Injuries
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Matt’s journey was filled with tough decisions and even tougher breaks. He chose to stay at BYU for his senior year instead of entering the NFL Draft a year early. But on the very last play of practice before the season began, he tore his Achilles, sidelining him for the entire year.
“The injuries came at terrible times. I know they never come at a good time, but I'll never forget how I felt trying to support Matt through that devastation,” Emily said. “As a wife you take on so much of their emotion, and those emotional swings after an injury are really brutal and tough.”
Matt eventually signed with the Raiders, but was released in December and picked up by the Chiefs. He stood out during training camp and scored two touchdowns in a preseason game.
“His family is there, we’re jumping up and down crying after the second touchdown, like he's gonna make the team,” Emily said. “Then two plays later, breaks his collarbone. It felt like we couldn't catch a break. Doors were closing in our face, that we were praying and hoping to stay open. ”
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Despite the setbacks, Emily stayed positive, even when it wasn’t easy.
“Anyone hears you're on the chiefs, and they think you've made it in life, period,” she said. “We tried to remind ourselves how fortunate we were every day, while still wanting more. I wanted him to make the roster so bad. His success was my success.”
Understanding Playing Time
All five of these players had standout careers at BYU, but their roles in the NFL shifted, with some taking on backup roles or spending time on practice squads.
“It comes down to luck, positions, or spots needing to be filled, that determines a lot more when it comes to playing time than just skill and ability,” said Grace LaChance. “As a fan you just see people on a field. Obviously some are better than others, but most of the time it's dependent on behind the scenes factors.”
Bre had similar thoughts.
“They're all so good, that's what Jaren says. It's literally situational, and if you're given a shot and the right time. Everything has to line up for you to excel. Maybe the coaches aren't a huge fan of you, and they have that opinion solidified. Or you could go to a team where the right person believes in you, so you take advantage of it and it works.”
It's difficult for wives to watch their husbands be labeled not good enough when their careers don’t follow the same trajectory as the top players in the world. This comparison overlooks the immense talent and dedication that it takes to even make it to the NFL.
The lifestyle we hear about in the media is not the reality for most players.
"A lot of the time the focus is on those big players and their lifestyle, and that's not the reality for 90% of the people, that's really just the top 10%. The rest are living their normal everyday life just trying to keep doing something that they love,” said Grace LaChance.
Juggling Marriage and Family
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Being married to an NFL player comes with its own set of challenges, especially when kids are in the mix. The demanding schedules, public scrutiny and constant uncertainties create a unique lifestyle that few outside the league can understand.
“I always say there’s an off-season Brady and an in-season Brady,” Jordynn Christiansen said. “I joke that we have two different marriages too: an off-season marriage and an in-season marriage.”
The public nature of the NFL often makes personal struggles feel even bigger, with everyone watching.
“If Brady was an accountant, no one would text him after work,” Jordynn said. “With the NFL, there’s so much media coverage. If you have a bad game, everyone’s watching you fail and is there to pick you apart.”
Supporting their husbands through these struggles can feel similar to walking a tightrope.
“It’s really hard to support him through struggles that are very niche to the NFL. Nothing you say will make them feel better,” said Jordynn. “This year, Brady’s gotten replaced three times and was put in a position he’s never played before. I’ll never know what that’s like.”
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Time is another challenge. The NFL schedule leaves little room for family time, making every minute together so important.
“I only had Jayda last year. I was just pregnant with Kyler at the time. I only had one kid to deal with, but it was still hard,” Bre said. “Him leaving before Jayda woke up, and coming home either right before I put her down or right after.
“I’ll be like, ‘Do you even know what the kids did today?’ But then I have to step back and realize he’s doing the best he can with what he’s given.”
The hardest part is seeing their husbands give everything to their careers, only to watch it sometimes unravel.
“What’s hard is seeing how hard they work, how much time they put into it, and sometimes it just doesn’t work,” Bre said. “That’s so hard to watch as a wife, because they’re away from you and your kids. You want it to be worth it, you want to see good things happen for them. And then they don’t. It’s really defeating.”
Reflecting on Jaren's first season, Bre said, “I think of this last year with Minnesota. He’s working so hard, he’s doing so great. And then to have it ripped from him at the last second was so hard to watch. But that’s what the NFL is. It’s a business, and people aren’t going to take time to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ They can’t afford to care.”
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Even when it comes to life’s big moments, NFL players are often forced to miss out. For Maddie Empey, the timing of her son Baker’s birth lined up with her husband’s uncertain status in the league.
“A couple of months before Baker was born in May, we weren’t part of an organization. We waited for months, and the week before Baker was born, the Titans called,” Maddie said.
James made it onto the team through OTAs, and the coach showed rare understanding.
“We were blessed that the coach told James, ‘Hey, you need to go home for a few days while your wife has her baby and then come back.’”
James was able to be there for Baker’s birth, but his time at home was short-lived.
“He was there for a few days, but he was pretty much gone for the first month of Baker being here,” Maddie said. “He was able to come home every other weekend for a day.”
For these families, the NFL is a lifestyle that requires constant sacrifice and a shared commitment to making it work.
Why Walk Away from the NFL?
For many fans, the idea of voluntarily leaving the NFL seems baffling. Why trade one of the most coveted jobs in the world for something as ordinary as an office job? It’s a fair question.
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For players like James, Harris, and Matt, the decision to walk away wasn't just about themselves. It was a choice they made with their families in mind.
Today, all three work as hospital administrators for PACS. Their journeys out of the NFL highlight the tough realities players face and the factors that lead them to make this life-changing decision.
Grace LaChance was initially surprised when her husband, Harris, turned down an offer to return to the league.
“Harris was released from the Colts because there was an injury, and they had too many offensive linemen. He flew home, and the Texans called him,” Grace said. “He told them no, and that shocked me because I thought we would continue.”
She admits the decision didn’t make sense to her at first. “Sometimes only the player knows what their limit is. Their family can continue to support them, but at some point, it’s not beneficial to keep going. Looking back, I totally agree, but at that moment, I was like, ‘Okay, wait. These people want you, shouldn’t we keep going?’”
Harris’s choice came down to priorities.
“He tells me if he didn’t have a family, he could have stuck it out longer. But at some point, you realize it’s not healthy, and it’s better to walk away and focus on your family,” Grace said.
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For Matt, the decision to leave came after an emotionally draining third season, despite reaching two consecutive Super Bowl wins. Emily recalled the highs and lows that shaped their choice.
“Last year at training camp, he had the most receptions of any receiver on the Chiefs. More than Travis Kelce, more than anybody. The backup QB trusted him and got him the ball as much as he could. Matt gave it all he had,” Emily said. “I say that to give context to what came a few weeks later when they made final cuts.”
Emily still gets emotional when recalling the heartbreak that followed.
“The Chiefs took three tight ends that year instead of four. They usually take four or five. He was cut, and the coaches said, ‘Hey, you did great at camp, we hope you get picked up, but we also hope you don’t so you can be on our practice squad again.’ It was devastating. We thought he earned a spot on the roster.”
That emotional toll became too much.
“At that point, he felt the emotional roller coaster you only understand if you’re a player. I don’t think I can understand it as much as I try," Emily said. "He started feeling like, ‘Okay, for some people, their dream is just to be on the squad, practice squad or not.’ But Matt’s dream was to be on the roster, to fight to play and eventually be a starter."
By the end of the season, after another Super Bowl win, the writing was on the wall.
“The coaches said, ‘Hey Matt, we love you. We see you as a permanent practice squad guy, always with an option to get brought up.’ For us, that didn’t feel right. It felt better to figure out what life would be like after football,” Emily said. “As hard as it was, and as hard as it still is to move on, it felt right after lots of thought and prayer.”
Life After the NFL
Adjusting to life after football has been a journey of its own, requiring these three couples to navigate new routines and roles.
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“I was used to doing things on my own, but now he works a nine to five and he's home a lot more. That was more of an adjustment than I thought. It was nice to have help, but it was a bit of a transition to allow help,” Grace LaChance said.
Beyond changes at home, players struggle with losing the camaraderie and physicality of the game.
“He missed being with the boys all day outside and being physical, having people that understood him that he could relate to,” said Grace.
For these players, dedicating their entire lives to football only to have it abruptly end can be a difficult adjustment.
“If you play something your whole life, that first year, giving that up and switching your routine for something else is really hard, no matter when that comes, whether it came after a terrible season or a Super Bowl win,” Emily said. “It’s been difficult, but I’m proud of Matt for how he handled it and dove into his job with as much urgency as he would give football.”
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The transition is even more challenging because the structure of football doesn't easily translate into everyday life. Maddie Empey, who was a cross-country runner at UVU, understands what it’s like to leave a sport. But she acknowledges that James’ experience is unique.
“It’s not like running, where I graduate and can still run every day. I can sign up for races, be part of that community, and push myself. With football, you need a team, once you decide you're done playing, the chances of you being able to actually play the game are pretty close to zero,” Maddie said.
This stark difference underscores the challenges players face when transitioning from the NFL to a completely new career.
“James is like, ‘I’m 27 and I feel like my resume is blank. But I did this really cool thing that not a lot of people can say they’ve done.’" said Maddie.
For players, so much time and effort is devoted to chasing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. They don’t have the same chance to build traditional career skills in their early post-grad years.
Even basic professional skills, like navigating software, can be a learning curve.
“I think it was last night Matt and Harris were going over how to figure out their Excel spreadsheets, because they’ve never had to do that," Grace said. "You know, things they never had to do, that a normal person would do every day in their career.”
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Growth and Memorable Moments
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As challenging and unpredictable as life in the NFL can be, these wives have found valuable lessons, blessings and positive experiences through it all.
Grace learned the importance of letting go of control and accepting the unpredictability of life: “I’ve always been a control freak, this was the biggest blessing for me, because I learned I have no control over anything, and life works out in unexpected ways,” she said. “We never knew what would happen. So having a plan was more stressful than being able to go with the flow.”
Jordynn admires the kindness and humility of those she’s met along the way, especially the wives of other players: “Every single person I’ve encountered is so kind, so humble, so down to earth. And especially the wives on the Panthers, they welcome you with the most open arms. That really surprised me, but I see now that’s just how people are.”
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Bre acknowledges that while the NFL might not be as glamorous as it seems, it’s still an incredible blessing: “It may not be all the glam people think, but it is so cool. I don't ever think, 'Oh, this isn't a blessing,' because it is. It's so cool he gets to be in the league, it's a cool experience as a family, and such a big blessing financially. That's why we continue to go over ‘Okay, what's worth it to us,' and reevaluate every year.”
Maddie values the special experiences the NFL life has provided: “What a special opportunity we had to meet amazing people. We got to go to cool places, even if it was for a short period of time. We got to be a part of some pretty special experiences.”
Emily treasures the connections she has been able to make.
“Being able to rub shoulders with really cool, humble, religious, God loving people was one of my favorite parts,” she said. “Both teams we were on had Bible studies full of wives and players that were extremely wealthy, many extremely well known, that had great levels of faith and were really down to earth good people.”
For these families, the love for the game of football doesn’t fade just because their NFL days are over. Matt and Emily’s daughter Andie, my 4-year-old niece, is a prime example of that passion living on.
“We still cheer for the Chiefs. We love seeing Andie enjoy games and get pumped” Emily said. “She wears her Red Friday outfit at school with Bushman on the back, she really loves it. She calls them the BYUChiefs.”
Through challenges and sacrifices, these women found gratitude, joy and a deep sense of purpose. Their stories are a testament to endurance and partnership, finding joy in difficult moments, and cherishing blessings that come along the way.