As conversations of marriage continue to arise during young adulthood within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, some students at Brigham Young University experience added pressure to marry during their time at the university.
BYU ranks high in the number of married students, with an average of 20% to 25% of the student body being married compared to a 7% national average. Students who have reported feeling this pressure to marry young share that leaving school makes them worry about their future.
Kenzie Garner, a freshman and returned missionary, reflected on his experience.
“I think it just happens so often that it has become a kind of stigma of, 'You gotta get married before you leave,'" Garner said.
Students interviewed shared that they had never actually been told they should get married before leaving BYU. In fact, many did not feel that BYU or even the Church had placed this pressure on them to get married at such a young age.
Evan Sant, a Senior at BYU, shared his opinions on why so many students share this anxiety.
“People get nervous that they won't be able to find somebody if it's not here in Provo, or close to BYU,” Sant said.
For many, this idea developed as they look around and perceive that many people are finding their eternal companion.
“To some extent, there's that aspect of peer pressure. (It's) not that anyone's saying that you need to, but when you see other people around you getting married and living that life, it can definitely cause a desire to also have that,” Garner said.
Lucy Conforto, a BYU junior, shared that many of her friends have expressed embarrassment about graduating without a ring because, in their minds, everyone else their age seems to have figured it out.
“I guess the main thing, as I said, would be comparison to other people,” Conforto said.
Many younger students reported that they still value the goal of being married within the next three to four years before they finish undergrad. Some seniors, however, shared that while they have felt pressure to marry, they have chosen to shift their mindset.
Although it may still be a concern to find someone once they have moved on from their Provo dating life, Sant and Conforto said they still find comfort in the words of the prophet and apostles as they continue on their journey.
At the April 2006 General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson shared his testimony of an eternal marriage and quoted "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."
“But these things I do know: I know 'that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained by God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children,'” Nelson said.
As wedding season approaches this year, students shared that they are thinking of ways to find the balance between the counsel of the prophet to start a family, while not falling into societal pressures.
“It all happens in the Lord's timing, and whether that's before or after I graduate is okay with me,” said Sant.