The BYU Title IX Office honored International Women’s Day by inviting female BYU professors to discuss social connection, healthy sexuality and professional relationships at a conference in the Gordon B. Hinckley Alumni and Visitors Center on Mar. 8.
Title IX also welcomed attendees to participate in a service project for nonprofit Lifting Hands International, decorating notecards with “You Are Loved” that would be included in care kits for refugees.
Designing shared experiences for better social connection
Camilla Hodge, associate professor in the Experience Design and Management department, discussed the importance of creating meaningful social connections and strategies to do so.
“When women come together, when women connect, the world changes,” Hodge said. “Connection isn't something that you just have to wait for to happen by chance — it's something we can create, nurture and design.”
Hodge found through the Survey Center on American Life the percent of Americans who reported having no close friends has quadrupled between 1990 and 2021.
Hodge said constructing a shared reality, when two or more people interpret events similarly, can lead to deeper connection. Individuals in a shared reality can even begin to synchronize their breathing, heart rates and emotional behaviors.
“When Alma baptized the believers at the Waters of Mormon, they covenanted to share their life experience with each other,” she said. “They did so by covenanting to bear each other’s burdens, to mourn together, to give and receive comfort — and the result of those covenants: hearts knit together in unity and love.”
Hodge said in-person shared experiences with larger groups, such as with basketball fans in an arena, can produce greater social connection — and even synchronized heart rates — than with smaller groups watching on a screen from home.
Even brief interactions can improve well-being, Hodge argued. Individuals using public transportation who greeted and thanked their drivers reported greater life satisfaction.
Disclosing personal, emotional information to others can lead to increased closeness and intimacy, even if the information may reflect poorly on the individual, she said.
“We tend to overestimate how harshly we will be judged when we reveal a weakness, a failure to other people, and we underestimate how much people will appreciate our honesty or courage,” Hodge said. “In general, people's perceptions of vulnerability are far more positive than you would imagine.”
Storytelling can establish a shared history with another, especially when the listener is fully immersed in the story and it is character-driven and emotional, she said.
“Storytelling can facilitate practicing empathy,” Hodge said. “Listeners can put themselves into the proverbial shoes of a protagonist as the story unfolds.”
Experiencing an event with another person helps turn an individual perspective into a connected perspective to build common ground, Hodge said. Shared action during these events, such as singing or dancing together, increases compassion and cooperation.
“We are not here by accident,” Hodge said. “The relationships we have, whether with family, friends, colleagues or even passing acquaintances are opportunities to illuminate, to bring warmth and to strengthen human connections, the ones that make life so meaningful.”
Deconstructing unhealthy attitudes towards sexuality
Chelom Leavitt, associate professor in the School of Family Life, discussed how both single and married adults can tackle harmful attitudes towards sexuality. She argued connection, communication, vulnerability and understanding the differences between one and one’s partner are essential in sexual relationships.
“What do we do when one partner is a higher-desire partner, and one is a lower-desire partner?” Leavitt said. “You know what we call that in research? Normal.”
Leavitt addressed individuals may feel shame about sexuality. To combat this, Leavitt recommended a BYU course, SFL 376, that promotes open conversation about sexuality, directing questions to trusted family or friends and appreciating sexuality as something that has been God-given.
Conversations about sexuality must be open, gentle and productive. Spouses should also ask each other what their expectations and boundaries are, and intimacy should always be focused on the other partner.
“There should be no pressure to move at some certain expectation,” Leavitt said. “If sex is other-focused, I should never be wanting to push my partner up to the line. I should be wanting to keep them firmly within healthy boundaries.”
She noted many women who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints develop asexual attitudes, feel shame towards their sexuality and thus do not learn how to express their own sexual desires.
“Maybe, as a woman, she was told that sex is really just for her husband. So, it's just kind of your job to help him feel satisfied,” Leavitt said. “Very unhealthy attitude.”
She expressed a need to replace these unhealthy attitudes with those that are accepting of sexuality.
Cultivating life-changing professional relationships
Eva Witesman, professor in the Marriott School of Business, discussed life-changing professional relationships. She argued that describing a professional relationship as “transactional,” focusing on simply expanding a network or leading to a career, is shallow. Instead, professional relationships should be thought of as deep and human.
Witesman noted her relationship with her husband is also a professional one.
“The work that I do in my professional life and my career is empowered by the ways that my husband supports me in the passions that I have and helping me develop the skills that I have,” Witesman said.
A past manager of hers revolutionized her workplace, increasing efficiency and enjoyment. He even decreased the time it took to develop prototypes from 12 months to a single week. She credited this manager with influencing her decision to attend graduate school.
She then mentioned BYU sociology professor Curtis Child who was in her master’s program.
“He's a friend, he’s a coworker, he’s a co-author, he’s a colleague — he’s all of those things, but all of those things are too dry,” Witesman said. “There's not enough emotional resonance in any of those words to really capture what it means to love someone in a professional context.”
Witesman was pregnant during her master’s program, so she organized a research-based independent study with her professor. He became an advocate in her studies and arranged her Ph.D. schedule to help her focus on parenting.
Witesman praised one of her Ph.D. professors for reshaping her worldview. Another professor gave her opportunities to work with him, and he wrote her letter of recommendation for a position at BYU, which was a major factor in BYU’s decision to hire her, she said.
Another acquaintance of Witesman taught her the importance of having someone who challenges ideas on a professional team.
She said Marriott School of Business Dean Brigette Madrian has inspired Witesman and others with her vision for the school.
Witesman mentioned Paul Lambert, the Religion Initiative Director at the Wheatley Institute. They have cultivated a relationship through their shared support of each other’s work.
“One of the things I've noticed about Paul, on this International Women’s Day, is that he very intentionally lifts and empowers especially women colleagues,” Witesman said.
She said Lambert specifically highlighted the work that he and Witesman did at a conference to show students a healthy male-female professional relationship.
Witesman then focused on how she’s become a mentor to her students. One of these students described Witesman as a “frien-tor,” combining “friend” and “mentor.”
“It's much more than just this dry, professional relationship,” Witesman said. “There's something deep and meaningful and human in these connections.”