David Dowling, professional mediator and adjunct professor of law, addressed Education Week participants in his lecture “Civility and Professionalism in Your Negotiations” on Aug. 21.
Dowling’s insights are critical not just for attorneys who wish to facilitate successful negotiation, but for anyone who wants to be a greater peacemaker.
In a field that is often portrayed as contentious and cutthroat, what role does peacemaking play in successful legal negotiations and building a reputation?
“(In negotiation), you will encounter people who are … disrespectful,” Dowling said. “How you engage with them can make the difference.”
The class began with a discussion of why professionalism is a foundational part of a successful legal career. Dowling recalled advice he’d been given by an associate when he had recently graduated from law school:
Dowling said he was told, “When you go out and you start practicing, it’s your name and your reputation on the line." He emphasized that when an error is made, whether or not it is your fault, it is a blemish on your reputation.
Given the great importance of good professional standing in the law, Dowling explained that professionalism is built not just by spotless work, but by being respectful and courteous. Furthermore, more is accomplished through collaboration than contention.
He shared words from President Russell M. Nelson’s 2023 address “Peacemakers Needed,” where the prophet declared that “contention is a choice, peacemaking is a choice … I urge you to be a peacemaker now and always.”
The class then discussed several strategies to employ to promote a culture of respect.
One key theme of this portion of the lecture was determining what peoples’ underlying desires are. Two parties in negotiation will take different stances, but what they truly want is rarely mutually exclusive.
“Interests are often similar or complementary, and very rarely antagonistic,” Dowling said.
In his time mediating, he has dealt with many “neighbor-neighbor cases,” often small disputes where locals feel one has treated the other unfairly. A trash can was repeatedly moved, there was a dispute over property or something similar occurred.
Dowling said that, after recognizing what the neighbors really wanted, it was often the same thing for both: respect and peace.
On a related note, he affirmed the need to separate people from the problem. In a world where TV shows like "Suits" often glorify ad hominem attacks, the temptation to insult and demean the opposition must be resisted.
One audience member, an attorney in Las Vegas, remarked that there are several members of the Church who are lawyers in his area. He feels the need to treat them well because he will occasionally see them at the temple and wants to avoid any awkward situations.
Aside from acting to promote a culture of respect, Dowling also spent time addressing the importance of how people react.
“Some attorneys are high-conflict individuals,” he said. Dowling recounted that his Irish accent would sometimes slip out during meetings, and on one occasion, he was picked on for seemingly no reason.
“Okay little leprechaun, go do your thing,” one brusque attorney told him after a meeting. Clearly, this comment was inappropriate. However, Dowling chose to respond with empathy.
He counseled the audience to “avoid demonizing" people. Legal negotiations are always stressful, and anxiety tends to run high. As such, he advises an increased measure of patience and recognition that people are often not thinking clearly.
Dowling’s words rang true for many in the audience. One former attorney, Richard Brent Olsen, commented on how he would seek to improve even as a retiree.
“I have a tendency to react … we need to be slow to react as others attack us,” Olsen said. “A lack of civility which we see out in the community is now infiltrating the courtrooms, (but) there’s a burden on us as attorneys to act professionally.”
Another participant, an intellectual property lawyer named Rick Barnes, remarked that Dowling was “very proficient and knowledgeable in his field.”
Though he doesn’t handle negotiations in his field, Barnes said that “for a lot of people who don't know how to deal with difficult situations, the things he had to say were very helpful.”
From the mediators and attorneys involved in high-stakes legal showdowns to a parent working with their children, Dowling’s counsel can apply to all forms of negotiation.