Readers’ Forum: One date, now engaged?

A couple talks to each other while on a date. The dating culture in Provo needs to change. (Made in Canva by Megan Zaugg)

It is Friday night. I finish curling my hair and put my shoes on, ready for the date. I’ve been looking forward to it all week, and I do not even know what he looks like.

He calls and I walk out to his car. He gives me a hug, opens the car door for me, and we are on our way. We head to the newest dessert place in Provo and have a great conversation.

I see my friends. Coincidentally a group of friends are also at this dessert place and start making faces at me. I go over to say “hi” and the questions begin. I met him an hour ago, but I am getting questions about our future, how much I like him if it is going to turn into something.

Are my friends to blame? Or is it the dating culture that has formed?

For my SFL 223 class at Brigham Young University, I went on 30 dates in 30 days. I experienced these same questions after every single date. It grew to be exhausting. I had already been working to meet and get to know thirty guys I had never even met before, and then on top, I had to answer questions about my future with them.

How many people know without a doubt if they want to get married to their partner after one date? Although, I also had friends who made it fun. I took pictures with each guy, and we were able to enjoy the lessons I could learn from each date. It became more about the person I want to end up with, and the person I want to become.

The dating culture in Provo needs to change. I know this because I have personally experienced the negative results of the current culture. After going on 30 dates in 30 days, many of my peers expected me to know whom I was going to marry. So although a couple of friends just wanted to know what I learned, comments like this need to be the norm.

What are you going to do to change these stigmas?

-Nicole Wood

-West Bountiful, Utah

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