How to Get a 4.0


After the resolutions of weight loss and self-improvement have been choked out by new busy school schedules, students are left with the usual goal that renews itself, not yearly, but semesterly: get good grades.

The slate is clean, the newness of classes is almost refreshing and when it seems that the semester might not be so bad, the professors start dishing out the assignments.

And when April comes they separate the wheat from the tares.

So how will your winter semester turn out?

How to get BAD grades (Cynthia Wong)

1. Remember that college is exactly like high school

2. Set impossibly high expectations for yourself, then give up and stop trying to succeed once you fall short of your expectations.

3. Your Professors are not interested in helping you succeed, so it’s a good idea to ignore them completely

4. Remember that you will always have more time in the future, so it’s okay to procrastinate today.

5. Stop attending classes after the first few weeks, then show up to the final exam at the end of the semester.

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