Letter to the Editor for March 23, 2009

Men?s restrooms

While attending BYU, I have noticed the not-so-spectacular condition of the men?s restroom. I commend the custodial staff for doing such a great job. That is not a dream job, as the restrooms are always in great shape after being cleaned, even if it doesn?t last. The restroom condition had never bothered me enough to take the time to write about it until today. I was at the urinal taking care of things when one of the toilets flushed. Soon I noticed the water in the urinal beginning to rise, and then a wave erupted from the urinal nearly soaking my pants. Fortunately, I was able to jump out of the way before getting completely soaked.

While urinal geysers don?t happen often, more common is the lack of adequate flushing in the toilets. I would guess that one-third of the time I venture into a stall I find a hit and run, visual and aromatic evidence of prior use of the toilet. Either we as students and faculty need to adjust our diets, or we need toilets on campus that can finish the job. If it takes tuition increases, I would be happy to fork over some money so that I don?t have to hold my breath every time I need to relieve myself.

All-female major

To all of the scientifically inclined men out there: apply to the dietetics program ? it?s an all-female major at our campus. Well, except for my husband. Because of this, I have an inside perspective on just how starved some of these women are for male attention, even married male attention. They will all know your name and they will make sure to say ?hi? to you without fail every time they see you, no matter whose company you may be in. They will make cute (albeit discriminatory) jokes about you being the only one of your sex in the program (e.g. ?okay girls ... and (insert male name here)!?), followed by, and precipitating, profuse giggling. They will even go so far as to feign their inability to do something simple, such as remembering the code for a door, (or even assistance in opening said door) just so they can take advantage of and bask in your glorious masculinity that they are so starved for.

Warning: do not apply for this major if you are married or engaged ? all of the above will take place even if you are married, even in the presence of your wife. Granted, maybe she?d be tough enough to handle the above, along with countless other instances of blatant rudeness, but I?m afraid she?d have to be a woman on their level ? raised with a complete absence of propriety, respect, manners and self-control. To all of the women currently sharing the dietetics program with my husband: Please show some understanding and consideration for us, and think about how you would feel if your husband was in an all-female major and about how you would want him and yourself to be treated.

Respect yourself

?Brigham Young University exists to provide an education in an atmosphere consistent with the ideals and principles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That atmosphere is created and preserved through commitment to conduct that reflects those ideals and principles.? -BYU Honor Code.

Unfortunately, right now it seems more appropriate to say ?Brigham Young University exists to provide an atmosphere where students can get free tanning between classes, while laying across their significant other. Off-campus visiting hours end at 12 a.m., but feel free to display a variety of kinds of public affection.? Fellow students, I challenge you to reconsider your commitment to the Honor Code, but more importantly, to yourself. This isn?t about the Honor Code. It?s about you. Exercise self-control. Respect yourself and those of the opposite gender you care about. Do not share affection that should only be given within the bounds of marriage and in private.

Don?t try to rationalize away what I just said. If you have to rationalize it, that?s a good indication it?s wrong. Stand tall. Try this as your standard for conduct: If you wouldn?t feel comfortable doing it in the presence of your parents or one of the general authorities, it is not appropriate in public.

?Sinboards?

Several people have written letters arguing for skateboards to be permitted on campus. These sly serpents make fairly convincing arguments equating ?boarding? to biking and saying that any property damage caused would be minimal. While these arguments may be true, they stray away from the main reason to have this rule implemented in the first place: Skateboarders are bad people! People who ride on these things are most certainly associated with things such as baggy pants, sweating and cannabis. These street urchins do not fit into the middle-upper-class BYU image, and will become a problem if not harshly dealt with.

It is not enough to kick skateboarders out of every part of campus (as well as any other reputable establishment in Provo). This is the treatment is common everywhere and boarders have gotten used to it. To assure success in this fight, we must expel all skateboarders on first violation.

I hope all non-boarding students understand that these people are not like you and me. Anyone who rides one of these sinboards could not possibly have enough honesty to keep the Honor Code, intellect to graduate without cheating or faith to be a believing member of the Church. Perhaps even more important is the fact that instead of listening to Country and Broadway musicals, many of these dunces will bring the devil on to our campus through the hip-hop music in their iPods. This plague of false preaching must stop, as we weed all of the skaters out of campus.

Cultural morality

It is much easier to commit to a culture than to a religion; it?s much more defensible to commit to a religion than to a culture. So as long as we keep the two indistinguishable, we?re on easy street. But God doesn?t appreciate being condescended to. All cultures have flaws, and LDS culture is no exception.

One flaw is that we have a deep commitment to the surface; we don?t often recognize the existence of difficult moral decisions. Since we draw moral lines at the level of outward behavior; to us, that?s the most important thing. Anything deeper than that is a ?personal decision? with no right or wrong answer. If someone calls a decision morally difficult, we usually take that to mean that he wants to find somewhere in the ambiguity an escape from responsibility; we interpret any attempt to analyze the line between right and wrong as a threat to that line.

This attitude is a strange mix of naivet? and cynicism; na?ve because we assume any moral decision will be easy and obvious, cynical because we apparently don?t trust that our moral standards will stand up to scrutiny. And so, of course, our culture is against R-rated movies. We want our standards numbered, listed and, if possible, rhyming (a la modest is hottest). If the question is any more subtle, it requires personal revelation, which most of us blasphemously take to mean that we?re free to ignore it. I say ?we? for a reason, but hey, the first step is admitting there?s a problem.

Considerate clothing

To the women who think it?s acceptable to wear tank tops and short shorts out to tan in Helaman Quad, I submit the following:

?And young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.? Dallin H. Oaks, General Conference, April 2005.

It is hard enough for the young men of the Church to keep a clean mind and a pure heart without you lying around half-naked right outside our dorms. Please be more considerate of not only the BYU Honor Code, but also of the spiritual well being of the men you date. We are doing our best to be worthy to enter the temple and serve the Lord as missionaries. Could you help us out by wearing modest clothing?