By Vishweshwaran Gopalakrishnan
With men planning elaborate surprises and women getting ready for them, one can sense the Valentine''s Day frenzy in the campus air. But to select students, finding love at BYU is nothing less than a challenge.
These are the so-called non-members, a comparatively small number of BYU students, who are reminded once every year, how lonely they really are.
'I can''t date at BYU,' said Rik Roy Choudhuri, a junior from Kolkata India. 'Back at home, religion is not a big issue, but here Mormon girls have a liking for Mormon guys. It doesn''t mean that I can''t go on dates with Mormon girls but eventually religion will come in between the love.'
Choudhuri''s experience is not unique. Many non-Mormon students at BYU have a hard time finding dates. Some like Margarita Acosta, a senior from Chihuahua, Mexico, prefer to look for dates within the small pool of non-members.
'Dating is different at BYU because you have a smaller pool of people you can date as many member guys are afraid of meeting girls that don''t have the same beliefs,' Acosta said. 'I think the biggest issue is that when member guys like you, they still expect you to become a Mormon at some point, and so they see this really good person in you but still expect you to become what they want you to become.'
Not all non-members are looking for dates and potential relationships. There are those who have other priorities like Mustafa Kamil, a psychology major from Jakarta, Indonesia, who said he likes the idea of not having a lot of people to date as it keeps him focused on his studies and away from distractions.
'I don''t date at BYU because I don''t think I want to get married here,' Kamil said. 'I want to marry a girl from my country who has my beliefs and won''t mind living in Indonesia. I want to live near my parents and not here in America, and if I marry a girl from here that might not be possible.'
There are a few Mormon students who like the idea of dating someone different.
'I think that just because someone is not a member of the church doesn''t mean that they are a bad person,' said Michelle Minarchik, from Charlestown, Ind. 'It''s important to have the same values as someone else, but that shouldn''t be the only determining factor in deciding who to date.'
Even though a majority of non-members wish to find people of their beliefs to date, there are a few who have made themselves available.
'You will always have crippling differences and you will always have bigger challenges then most other couples,' said Raheel Aslam from Lahore, Pakistan, majoring in mechanical engineering. 'But what is important is to look beyond these differences towards all the joy that being together brings to you. If you have legitimate love for someone and they feel the same way, I say go for it, we can see where it will go later on.'