By Doug Kaufman
It seems every returned missionary retells a story about a different general authority saying something along the lines of 'money spent on a girl before your mission is money spent on another man''s wife.'
As missionaries labor for two years, often a girlfriend or boyfriend is left behind to hope and dream for an eternal marriage of bliss. At the time, such aspirations are plausible because the connection of love is seemingly unbreakable. Unfortunately, a recent informal survey shows the opposite.
The LDS Church Public Affairs office has no real data concerning the percentage of those who wait, but it seems likely the number of those who do pale in comparison to those who do not.
A recent informal survey conducted in the Wilkinson Student Center showed that out of 100 returned missionaries who had pre-mission relationships, 86 of them did not work out. Though the survey may not be an accurate representative sample, it is interesting to see that based on the small sample, students who send their missionaries off have a 14 percent success rate. Barnard Madsen has been the bishop of the BYU 68 th singles ward for more than three years now and sends off 50 to 60 missionaries every year, many of which were in relationships before they left.
'Maybe a fifth of these missionaries are leaving behind relationships,' Madsen said. 'Planning on getting married in two years impedes you from putting all your heart, might, mind and strength into the work.'
Madsen''s father was a mission president more than 40 years ago and kept statistics of his missionaries who had relationships waiting at home. He thinks leaving behind a love interest is not the wisest idea.
'If my Dad''s stat holds true, 80 percent of the missionaries that go out that have a girlfriend end up not marrying them,' Madsen said.
Bobby Shane, a sophomore from Chicago majoring in sociology, is one of many missionaries who left to serve, with the knowledge that his girlfriend would be there waiting in the same spot he left her.
'People change in two years,' Shane said. 'When I came home it just seemed impossible to work out. I ended up dating and marrying someone I least expected, a sister from my mission.'
Some students handle the long-distance relationship with a mature outlook. Samantha Gardner, a sophomore from Colton, Calif. majoring in elementary education, sent off a missionary four months ago.
'We talked about no expectation that I would wait,' Gardner said. 'I still date, but I''m not purposefully seeking out anything.'
For Gardner, her boyfriend''s mission is a source of growth for them both.
'I''ve tried to make his mission part of my everyday life,' Gardner said.