By Abram Cordell
Dave Mansell had been looking forward to a relaxing weekend in downtown Salt Lake, bringing his tennis racquets so he and his wife Margie could get in a match.
The Mansells were in for a surprise.
They had signed up for a Marriage Enrichment weekend, a three-day program that focuses on strengthening marital relationships.
No watches. No leaving the hotel. And definitely no tennis.
'We were a little apprehensive,' Dave Mansell said. 'We had faith that it would be a good experience, but we didn''t know what to expect.'
The Mansells quickly adjusted and by the time the weekend was over they could see the difference in their marriage.
'We shared feelings we never shared before and we''d been married for 10 years,' Dave Mansell said. 'You walk out of there feeling like you have a partner as opposed to people who live together.'
That was in 1983. The Mansells have gone back every five years and now serve as leader couples, offering their knowledge gained from Marriage Enrichment.
Marriage Enrichment, which is celebrating its 30th anniversary, is a marriage program that focuses on strengthening or healing marital relationships.
Its theme, 'Better marriages, beginning with our own,' reflects the programs ability to benefit couples in any stage of relationship.
'We find even with good marriages it can always be better,' said Victor Cline, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Utah. 'The better your marriage the more you can get out of it.'
Founded by Cline, seminars have been offered in the United States as well as Mexico and Jerusalem. He was inspired to start a marriage enhancement group when he went with his wife to a Marriage Encounter program.
'We really enjoyed it and found that it was a very positive experience,' Cline said.
Cline took principles from the Marriage Encounter and incorporated LDS-based teachings into the new program. Marriage Enrichment was formed shortly thereafter.
He based the program on his own research and input from other leader couples.
Those who attend Marriage Enrichment spend a weekend with their spouse at the Provo Marriott. During the weekend, presenters show couples how to incorporate tools that help in communication and goal setting into their marriage, and guest speakers or members of the Marriage Enrichment board give lectures and workshops.
Marriage Enrichment has always been a non-profit organization. The leader couples and speakers donate their time; the fees go to pay for lodging and food.
Many of the volunteers at Marriage Enrichment are former attendees of the weekend who have seen the changes in their marriage and want to be able to help other marriages.
Dean and Joan Connolly, who now serve as leaders of the organization along with the Clines, attended a Marriage Enrichment weekend in 1980 and have been donating their time ever since.
'It''s kind of like a little mission,' Joan Connolly said. 'We can help mankind one family at a time with this program.'
One of the problems that Marriage Enrichment combats is a stereotype the media has created about similar marriage 'retreats.'
'People may be a little afraid that they have to disclose private information,' Joan Connolly said. 'Nobody has to disclose anything. Our goal is to make it completely private.'
One way Marriage Enrichment differs from the stereotypes the media portrays is the focus on the positive.
'Life is hard enough,' Joan Connolly said. 'When we learn to focus on the good, we learn to look for the good.'
The majority of the time in the weekend is spent with one''s spouse, discussing issues that can cause friction in marriage.
Counselors provide couples with tools that allow them to address these sensitive issues in calm and non-confrontational ways.
Over the years of their involvement with the program, the Connollys have seen couples in all stages of marriage attend and see benefits.
'When Dean and I went we thought we had a good marriage,' Joan Connolly said. 'We thought, ''What a great time to spend, working on us.'''
For more information on Marriage Enrichment go to www.marriage-enrichment.org