By Jennifer Davis
Add in a wide array of cultures, a pinch of different viewpoints, mix in some human faults, throw it all into a small BYU apartment and it could turn out to be a roommate disaster, but do not despair, BYU offers help.
The BYU Center for Conflict Resolution offers mediation and arbitration to assist with conflicts involving BYU students and another party, which can include roommates, landlords, business persons or other students.
Mediation is using a third party, a mediator, to manage discussions when an effort in talking it out has failed. Mediators discuss the problem with both sides and remain neutral as they help the parties work out what they think would be the best solution. Unlike arbitration or litigation, mediation allows the parties involved to determine the outcome.
'Communicating well can really help resolve a lot of conflict that''s unnecessary,' said John Pace, manager for the Center for Conflict Resolution. 'People need a chance to sit down and communicate well and effectively with one another. Seeking to listen to the other person, trying to understand their point of view and not just thinking of their own interest is important.'
The center said the bulk of the conflicts brought to the center are between landlords and tenants, but a BYU student can come in for anything, including roommate conflicts.
Conflicts among roommates vary a great deal, Pace said. Using a roommates'' food or belongings, not keeping living standards, people having guests over too long and interfering with privacy can all be settled in mediation.
'We don''t give legal advice, but we can help give them some counseling on strategies on resolving conflict,' Pace said.
Roommates coming from different backgrounds will have different points of views, said Shellie Revoir, a freshman majoring in photography from Orem. In order to overcome conflicts, Revoir said she addresses the problem in a private situation without getting too angry.
'You don''t want to address it publicly,' she said. 'You don''t want to embarrass the person. You should have respect.'
Coryse Templeman , a freshman from Pelham, Ga., said sometimes it causes more of a problem to talk about it than to just let it go.
'Usually you''ll just cool down anyway,' she said.
When the problem among roommates gets to be uncomfortable or has a financial impact, it is important to find a non-conflicting way to confront it, said Otto Shill, a business management major from Mesa, Ariz.
'I usually pose it as a question because otherwise they may feel threatened or attacked,' he said. 'If they feel you''re not upset, they are more open to feel like maybe they can help you.'
Issues among roommates that cause another roommate to feel uncomfortable, especially because of violation to the Honor Code, can be reported to the Honor Code Office on campus.
'We all have a responsibility to help each other,' said Steven Baker, director of the Honor Code Office. 'If it''s serious it should involve us. If it''s very minor, you might want to talk to them first.'
Sometimes students may call to report a violation of the Honor Code, and if the issue is very small, the source of the problem is really a conflict among roommates. The Honor Code Office can help guide them to the Center for Conflict Resolution if they want to, Baker said.