By David Calkins
Before the crying and dirty diapers show up, future fathers need to understand how important they are in the child-raising process.
Unfortunately, much of the literature on pregnancy and childhood is written for the mother. The father?s perspective is sometimes neglected, even though the father is as much a part of the process as the mother.
?There is a substantial body of research which indicates that infants need at least one secure human attachment relationship,? said Clyde Robinson, a marriage, family, and human development professor. ?However, evidence suggests that having a secure attachment with several humans, including fathers, may be more optimal for a child?s development.?
Robinson said recent research shows fathers have a different kind of interaction with their infant children, such as how they hold or play with their baby. These differences contribute to the healthy development of their child.
?Healthy infants benefit from both father and mother styles of interaction,? he said. ?Therefore, fathers should not be distant or aloof in this responsibility.?
Robinson said it is important for fathers to participate in their baby?s growth in order for the child to develop a closer, healthier relationship with the father.
?Some attachment theorists maintain that parents have to woo the baby during the first year to assure a secure and healthy attachment,? Robinson said. ?They have to help the baby fall in love with them.?
Fathers can participate in this by talking to and playing with their baby frequently, Robinson said.
?Infants can discriminate human facial expressions,? he said, ?So exaggerated facial expressions?such as big smiles?are crucial in this wooing process.?
Spending time with infants can be difficult, especially when the baby won?t stop crying.
He said the important thing to remember in soothing an upset infant is to take care of its needs immediately.
?It?s better to feed a baby or change its diaper right away, or ?on demand,? than to wait a while,? he said.
Other strategies for soothing include holding the infant in a vertical position, rocking, patting or massaging the baby and singing to the baby.
No matter what preparations they?ve made, first-time fathers should anticipate a major life change upon the arrival of a child.
Billy Fairbank, a Russian major and father of a 10-month-old boy, said when his baby was born, he suddenly felt like he was too young and irresponsible to have a child.
?It?s hard to imagine that there?s actually a human being inside until you actually see it come out,? Fairbank said. ?It?s unreal until it actually happens. But at the same time, I was really happy. I was thinking, ?Why didn?t we have a kid earlier?? even as I was wondering if I was really ready for this.?