By Kristen Taufer
Two weeks ago, as the world looked to New York, Jen Oldroyd stood in the middle of it, seeing first hand what terror looked like.
Now she is left with images that bring nightmares when she sleeps.
'It''s one thing to see it on television with only your eyes, but it''s another thing to experience it with all of your five senses -- the sounds, the smells, the sights,' Oldroyd said. 'It can only be described as walking through hell.'
Oldroyd, 20, from Virginia, is a paramedic trained in disaster relief. She went to New York to help strangers who she sees as her 'brothers and sisters.'
'People were calling us heroes, but everyone was a hero.' Oldroyd said. 'New York is famous for being hard-nosed and stubborn, but I have never seen such a compassionate people.'
In an e-mail to friends, Oldroyd recounted the highs and lows of her experience in New York.
She recalled the day her medical team amputated both legs of a man pinned beneath the rubble of the buildings.
'I will never forget the way his body tightened in pain. I will never forget the way the fireman looked at me . . .with a great fear in his eyes knowing what we were going to do.' Oldroyd said.
Oldroyd spent much of her time at ground zero looking for signs of life. She and her team would search the rubble and find an arm, but when they''d start to dig they''d realize it was only an arm.
'That was the hardest thing. Words can''t describe it.' Oldroyd said
Also in the e-mail, Oldroyd talked of a woman outside St. Vincent''s Hospital who knelt down and kissed her feet, hailing Oldroyd as a hero.
'That was probably the most powerful moment of my life,' Oldroyd said.
She said she herself feels the physical pains that many of her patients felt. Oldroyd left New York after her hand was crushed beneath a collapsing pile of rubble. She is now undergoing five surgeries to repair the damage.
Throughout her time in New York, Oldroyd looked to her religious beliefs to find strength and she returned home with a stronger testimony than she thought possible.
Whether or not the people of New York realized it, Oldroyd said she knows that Heavenly Father was there with them.
'All the people there, the look on their faces was homesick . . . Homesick for their Father in Heaven.' Oldroyd said. 'And he was comforting them.'
Oldroyd now prays each night for this country. Before this, she had never thought to pray for America, but she now prays for a country where she is thankful to be free.
Oldroyd said she hopes people see how this tragedy has affected the lives of everyone regardless of where they live.
'We will never feel as safe,' she said. 'There will always be worries in the back of our minds about what''s going to happen next, but we just have to see we are not alone. No one is alone.'