Dear Editor,
There are few things in the world as beautiful and as awe-inspiring as the mullet. However, before the mullet can be appreciated, it must be understood. Yes, the mullet has been called the haircut of gods, and yes, it is accepted as the art but that doesn't mean that everyone can just go out and get a mullet.
The mullet isn't a haircut that can just be given; the mullet is a person, a very special person. The mullet, speaking of the person of course, looks down at us 'cold-necks' with pity for our short unexpressed haircuts. The mullet has become an endangered breed in the U.S., but they still exist in old overly jacked-up trucks, at Kum and Go and in Wal-Marts around the nation.
The mullet itself is a haircut that is long in back and drastically shorter on the sides and top. This haircut has been given countless nicknames such as 10-90 (10 percent on top and 90 percent on back), bi-level, hockey haircut, Kentucky waterfall, and beavertail. The terms and nicknames must be put aside. The mullet is in need of assistance.
In a couple of years, this great American icon may become extinct. It is the duty of every mother, father, brother, and sister to see that this doesn't happen. Through the adopt-a-mullet program, I myself have adopted a mullet. In a worldwide movement, the Internet has opened sites dedicated to the protection and advancement of the mullet. It is our responsibility to help support these sites and to write our congressmen demanding legislation to be passed. We must do our part.
The mullet goes beyond a person, beyond a haircut; the mullet is unity. With the mullet there is no racism, no bigotry; all mullets are created equally. If a mullet is ever in trouble, there is always another mullet ready to assist. The rest of the world could learn a lesson from their example. The answer to the world's problems and difficulties is simple. Everyone needs a mullet, needs to be a mullet.
Brad Barger
Star Valley, Wyoming