We are a group of concerned students who have recently become aware of a disturbing issue regarding one of the many magnificent, remarkably well-crafted statues that grace our campus. No, we are not going to raise the issue of the nearly naked Native American who watches over the west side of the library.
Another, greater, moral dilemma has come to our attention. Nearly all university students are familiar with the family statue that is located between the Spencer W. Kimball Tower and the Smith Family Living Center. A father, mother, and beautiful young daughter stand there, holding hands — the picture of domestic tranquillity. When we first made the acquaintance of this statue, we were all charmed by the serenity evoked by this image, reminiscent of our early days when we were like that young child, walking side by side with mother and father, enjoying the innocence of youth. Imagine our dismay when just last Friday at Fall Fling, while lingering near that familiar image, holding the hand of our dear “mother,” we noticed that she was lacking the symbol of an eternal bond between a man and a woman, the wedding ring. Horrified, we investigated further, only to discover that “father” was also missing his wedding band.
What kind of example is that setting here at a university that upholds a strict moral code that forbids premarital intimacy? We considered that perhaps, they could possibly be siblings, but it is understood among students and faculty that this is a classic nuclear family. Possible solutions? Hey, solder some rings on those brass fingers!