By Justin Smith
justin@newsroom.byu.edu
Check out this job description:
* Must be willing to take a bull's horn to the tush.
* Run, dodge and hide from large animals (over 2000 lbs. large) who seek to take away one's posterity.
* Tolerates, even enjoys, the feel of fresh cowpies as they are smeared on various parts of the body.
Welcome to the world of clownius de rodius, or, to the lay person, rodeo clowns.
Where else can someone find people who happily wear gross amounts of make-up, overalls that are 12 sizes too big, and, well, choose to plop around in a plentiful pit of poop?
Then again, where else can someone go to be entertained by daredevils who continually risk their own safety for a few claps from a hee-hawin' cowboy or cowgirl?
There is probably not another job like it. Rodeo clowns, who actually prefer to be called by their professional name, bullfighters, are notorious for their stunts, their crowd-pleasing antics and the close encounters they share with angry animals night in and night out.
It is not an uncommon thing to see these performers sporting a cast, a few stitches and various bumps and bruises. It may be an eye-opening experience to stick a mic on one of them to hear what true feelings the make-up hides so well.
Even without a mic, the bullfighters explained why they do what they do.
'I used to ride bulls and I've seen a lot of people get hurt. I was in a lot of wrecks riding bulls, and I just thought that I had the athletic ability to step in and help them out, and it turned into a full-time job,' said Lloyd Ketchum, a 14-year professional bullfighter.
Is it worth the pay?
'Well, we contract ourselves out and set up our own prices. You gotta know how far you're gonna go and how many days you're gonna be there. We have a convention in Las Vegas in November and that's where all the committees throughout the United States come to hire us. We negotiate our prices there,' Ketchum said.
Injuries?
'You know, luckily I've never been seriously injured. I've never missed a performance I've been scheduled for,' Ketchum said.
Another bullfighter, Rob Smets, who gained the title of the 'Kamikaze Kid' in his 23-year career, hasn't been so lucky to escape injuries.
'I had a bull run a horn in me in the Salt Palace here in 1985, four and a half inches in me to the base of my spine.'
The small of the back?
'Lower,' Smets said.
A few inches lower?
'Lower, lower. In the tank. Yeah, I'm serious.'
'I've also broke my neck twice.'
'Ouch!' a cowboy said, listening as Smets discussed his not-so-glorious 'glory days.'
It has paid off, though.
Smets won the world championship in the Wrangler Bullfights five times and qualified for the National Final Bullfight in the Wrangler Bullfights 17 times in 19 years.
He has his reward -- quite a few from the sound of things.