BY JENI DEERY-OWEN
deery@newsroom.byu.edu
I opened the newspaper today, and the edition I had picked up was dated July 5, 2001. (No, it wasn't because The Universe copy chiefs forgot to change the date before sending it to press.)
It was an actual early edition to next year's newspaper.
My heart started to pound because I thought I could save someone's life and be the Wonder Woman I always dreamed of being -- just as in the popular television drama 'Early Edition.'
But there weren't any murders. A construction worker didn't fall off a ladder in the HFAC. And there really hadn't been any random acts of violence or tragedy to which I could send some Superman.
I found that next year's news consisted of the following:
* After years of frustration, BYU finally matches its neighboring rival, Provo High School, in its prestige. President Bateman -- wearing all Cougar blue -- unveiled the new Cougar Avenue street sign Tuesday, matching Provo High's Bulldog Avenue. The new street name replaces Canyon Road.
* MTV gains the highest viewership of any network for the 2000-2001 season. The popular 'Real World' show gains credit for the station's success. Chad Riley, an MTV spokesman, said its success stems from tapping into the Utah and LDS market.
'We even had Utah senior citizens watching the show. They criticized it as being distasteful and immoral, but they just continued watching throughout the season. We hooked them,' Riley said with a grin and a chuckle.
* BYU announces two expansion projects. The former Marriott Center will seat 22,000 in what will be the new Testing Center, and with a surplus in parking-ticket money, the traffic office announces a new five-level parking garage. The garage will be done in 10 years and will be accessible for faculty and visitor parking only.
* The Los Angeles Lakers repeat as NBA champs. The Universe does a full-page spread. Interviews said the Lakers have found their way into the hearts of Utah fans for two reasons: the Jazz's losing record of 40-42 and the Lakers' rookie Mark 'Mad Dog' Madsen has replaced Steve Young as the ultimate LDS bachelor.
* A third accident this week happened on University Avenue where BYU students attempted to cross the road at the designated crosswalks. The driver of a 1992 Honda Civic yielded to the pedestrian, but was rear-ended by a 1989 Toyota Corolla, which was then struck by a 1999 Jeep Cherokee. Officials report that the high number of accidents in this area is not uncommon, and there are no plans to change the crosswalks.
* In Cuba, Elian Gonzalez learns how to tie his shoes. Live play-by-play coverage of this pivotal moment in the seven-year-old's life is featured on all major networks and their Internet sites.
* BYU-Idaho struggles to entice students to graduate from the new four-year university. BYU-Idaho announces its marketing slogan: 'Come to the potato state ... Where there's a low crime rate, and you may even get a date.'
Disappointed that I couldn't change the world, I tossed the edition into the recycle bin. I guess my Wonder Woman days will remain in the past -- when I ran around as a 4-year-old in my Underoos.
Jeni Deery-Owen is a senior from Cody, Wyo., majoring in print journalism.