By Brian Thompson
As the number of intercultural relationships in the United States has mushroomed in recent decades, the stigma that once accompanied them is being abandoned in favor of a deeper regard for diversity and broadened understanding.
'We have never met a negative response from anyone,' said Dan Anderson, an Idaho native who married a woman from Norway five years ago. 'It's a great cultural experience.'
Anderson served an LDS mission in Norway and returned shortly thereafter on vacation. The couple began dating and eventually were married in the Boise temple. They now live in Provo and have three daughters.
'It's great for the kids to be raised in a multi-cultural home,' Anderson said. 'Plus, I still get a daily opportunity to have all the culture of Norway in my life.'
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, intercultural marriages have increased more than tenfold since 1960, bringing the current total to 1.6 million. They account for approximately 4 percent of all married couples in the United States. It's a growth trend that is not expected to change anytime in the near future.
Reynolds Farley, a demographer with the Russell Sage Foundation, told the Washington Post that the definitions of race and ethnicity are becoming unclear.
'I think we are at the edge of a major change in how we think of race in the United States,' he said.
However, diverse backgrounds also present some challenges unique to intercultural relationships.
Tim Heaton, a sociology professor at BYU, said the most successful relationships are those that take place within a couple's shared social and economic circles.
'Those who choose to marry outside (of their own culture) have a higher rate of divorce,' he said.
Some of the special challenges include language barriers and innate ethnocentric dispositions.
'The first year of marriage was sometimes tough,' Anderson said. 'I learned that missionary-level Norwegian wasn't enough to always express what I was feeling. Sometimes it was hard to communicate because I would be venting in English and she would be doing it in Norwegian.'
On several occasions LDS Church officials have spoken on the subject of intercultural marriage, discouraging the practice.
President Spencer W. Kimball taught that intercultural marriage could eventually lead to loneliness and unhappiness. In an address given at a BYU devotional he said, 'we have had some of our fine young people who have crossed the lines. We hope they will be very happy, but experience of the brethren through 100 years has proved to us that marriage is a very difficult thing under any circumstances and the difficulty increases in inter-race marriages.'
The solution is to cultivate as much appreciation as possible for the other's background and learn to communicate effectively, Anderson said.
'When I try to put myself in her shoes and understand where she's coming from things go smoothly.'
He plans to move his family to Sweden, where they can experience a culture similar to his wife's Norwegian upbringing.
Randall Reitz, a graduate student studying family therapy and a counselor at BYU's comprehensive clinic, agrees that communication and a strong understanding a spouse's background is vital to a successful marriage.
'It's most important to be respectful and do all you can to understand that different does not equal bad. It's just different,' he said.
Being in an intercultural marriage himself, Reitz understands the struggles such a marriage can present. But marriage to a person from a different culture has more advantages than people might think, he said.
'It can be exciting blending different backgrounds. I get to live in two different cultures -- different clothing, eating different foods, speaking different languages. It's great.'
Like the Andersons, he has also never met a negative response concerning his marriage.
BYU's comprehensive clinic offers inexpensive counseling to couples who may be struggling. Graduate students like Reitz share their training and experience to help couples with issues ranging from pre-marital planning and marriage enrichment to financial and intimacy concerns. The sessions are an hour long and cost $15. Reitz estimates that 15 percent of the couples who seek counseling at the comprehensive clinic are in intercultural relationships.