Benjamin Carter and James Collete
If you have ever walked past the library around midday, you would find yourself blinded by the amount of fliers being shoved in your face. Sure these flier people mean well, but it just gets a little irritating when you try to say no thanks in the nicest manner but still receive a flier.
Anyway you try to avoid these fliers, you always end up feeling like a jerk for not giving these people the time of day. So we have devised some ways that we can show remote respect to these flier people by creating the 'Top 10 things to say to flier people.'
10) In a sincere voice: 'I acknowledge you have paper in your hand. Thanks for letting me see that.'
9) With a courteous smile: 'No thanks, I already have seven back at home.
8) In a cautious tone: 'Sorry, I am allergic to paper.'
7) Fear stricken (start running): 'I have a phobia of paper cuts!'
6) In a sarcastic tone: 'I love trees.'
5) Before they have a chance to announce the event, announce the event to them. For example, 'Hey, did you know there's yet another top 40's dance this weekend?'
4) Before you reach the point of no return pull out your cell phone and carry on a pointless conversation.
3) Use the 'red rover' technique. Form a group in 'red rover' fashion and charge the flier people.
2) Arm yourself with a water gun. When approached assure them that you're not afraid to use it.
1) Jack Handey from Saturday Night Live once said, 'To me it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, would you like a flier?' you say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'
We do appreciate these flier people's countless hours of service to us, but please don't give us something we don't want. Hopefully these options will help cure some of our guilt and lessen the tension between 'flier people' and their victims.