By CAMERON FULLER
cameron@du2.byu.edu
I don't have a date this weekend. But then again this is not breaking news. I have spent many, many weekends at BYU without a date. So I'm used to it.
But this weekend, this Valentine's Day, really presents a dilemma for me and my roommates. All six of us are great guys -- only five of us are eligible. And even though each one of us who is eligible is hoping to find a woman and establish some semblance of a relationship, this 'holiday of love' is not going to help us out a whole bunch since we can't ethically ask a girl out.
The problem lies in the fact that Valentine's Day is a holiday exclusively for people with budding relationships or who have real sweethearts.
We fit into neither of those categories.
If you stop to consider, you'll see that other holidays can be celebrated by everyone, but not Valentine's Day.
Every American can find a reason to cheer on Independence Day.
During Christmas, non-Christians have found a way to celebrate. They can generalize the holiday as a time of well-wishing or by focusing on Santa Claus.
People can use Easter as an excuse to celebrate renewal and pretty pastel colors.
But any attempt to celebrate Valentine's Day as anything but the time for true loves, a day for darlings or a holiday for honeys is futile.
I know some of you are saying, 'Why can't this guy and his roommates just ask somebody out they're interested in?' We just can't on Valentine's Day when everyone knows what the day is really all about. It would be fake. It would be superficial. It would be uncomfortable. It would be -- like a lot of BYU dates.
But instead of turning this column into a way to vent some pent-up emotions, I'll try to suggest a few ways for those of you who are in similar situations to spend this holiday.
I conducted a few random interviews (random more as in weird than as in statistically significant) and got some feedback from some outstanding BYU students.
One group of women who said they were from David John Hall (but wanted to remain unidentified beyond that point) are planning an all-night event.
'We're having a pity-party, and we're going to stay up for 36 hours straight,' someone in the group said.
Seated at the same table as the group was Stephen Crapo, 18, a freshman from Durham, N.C. majoring in physics. He tried an interesting approach on a former Valentine's Day.
'We had to go find random girls and confess our love to them and try and get them to go out (with us). But it didn't work,' Crapo said.
If neither of these ideas appeal to you, my roommates and I were tossing around a few ideas about how people could spend Valentine's Day.
The following is a list of our favorite 20:
1. Try group singalongs to such hits as 'Every Rose has its Thorn,' and 'She's Always a Woman to Me.'
2. Play twister -- by yourself.
3. Go to the Nickel arcade with your roommates.
4. Play a good game of Backgammon.
5. Eat ice cream at the BYU Creamery. (Eat ice cream anywhere for that matter.)
6. Buy those little heart candies and save the 'Kiss Me' ones for when you really need them.
7. Burn photos or paraphenalia of past loves. (This may not be emotionally healthy in the long run, but it's an idea.)
8. Feed the ducks.
9. Feed the fish.
10. Feed me.
11. Share mission pictures with a good friend.
12. Dress up as cupid and shoot the person who is going out with the person you like.
13. Run your fingers through your own hair.
14. Three words: Yanni Music Marathon.
15. Patrol Squaw Peak and keep others in line.
16. Get an early jump on your tax return.
17. Try and get genuinely interested in the Winter Olympics.
18. 'Dear John' your missionary so you won't be in the same predicament next year.
19. Hang out with Sammy (inside joke). Walk to the Brick Oven with him.
20. Crash a Valentine's party, do the chicken dance and wait for the applause to roll in.
Hope these ideas work for you. I also hope this is the last time you'll have to refer to this list.