By NATALEE CAPPS
The temple marriage ceremony is beautiful, pure and monumental. The newlywed couple is the center of attention and excitement reigns in the air. The mood is festive and the spirit is light.
Then comes the reception. Suddenly, the wedding atmosphere goes downhill.
It is not that all LDS receptions are inherently bad, it is just that they typically lack in spontaneity and festivity. LDS receptions are stuck in the proverbial rut and all that is really necessary is some revamping in the planning stage.
Disclaimer: There are always exceptions to the rule, but LDS receptions are quite dull in comparison with non-LDS. Let's begin with just a few of the obvious flaws that most LDS newlyweds fall victim to.
MAJOR FLAW #1: The cultural hall. Why must all bride and grooms seal their fate underneath a basketball hoop? Even in the very nicest of cultural halls, it is still a gym, and smells of sweat and memories of road shows linger through the roses and the free-flowing punch.
'I wasn't exactly sure where I wanted my reception to be,' said Heather Dalby, a senior from McKinney, Texas, majoring in music performance. 'I just knew I did not want it to be in a cultural hall.'
The church cultural hall has a very appealing price tag. It's free. However, is it worth it to compromise the biggest day of your life and watch as your guests gather around the free throw line to catch the bouquet?
MAJOR FLAW #2: The receiving line. Why include all five of your roommates in your wedding party and then force them to stand erect and greet people for three hours? Let's be frank, no one cares who your best friend in the third grade was. Why must guests shake their hands and offer meaningless small talk when the real reason they came was for the refreshments?
It is easier for non-LDS to have receptions because they can have the receiving line in the church right after the ceremony. However, you will notice at these receptions that the bride and groom have not insisted that all of their two year old nieces and nephews be standing to greet the guests. To keep your guests as content as possible, limit your line to bride, groom and parents.
MAJOR FLAW #3: The entire reception set-up. Most LDS receptions follow a predictable pattern. The cultural hall is decked out in ribbons and balloons. At the entrance of the gym is a large picture of the bride, usually on an easel.
As you enter, the guest registry is to your right, usually another picture of the bride graces the table. You immediately stand in the line to greet the bride and groom (and the rest of everyone they know) and on your right is the gift table. More pictures are set up on the table, and perhaps the groom is lucky enough to be included in these.
'Every inch of table space not occupied by gifts or food is a picture library. You see the couple as children, in high school, together walking by the lake hand in hand,' said Jill Faatz, a senior from Ephraim, majoring in zoology.
As you continue on up the line, you see the china setting all laid out as if someone is just about to come and dine in that very spot. You might ask the obvious question: What is the purpose of the china display? Is it to prove that the newlywed couple really does have dishes to eat on? Is it to show that the bride has decent taste when it comes to choosing place settings? It is the most unnecessary part of the entire reception.
After the endless receiving line you come to the refreshments and sit at one of the large round tables somewhere on the gym floor. Then you converse with people you see every single week because you are all in the same ward. Perhaps there is dancing, but what that translates to is children running through the tables, screaming for their mothers. Adults 'ooh' and 'ahh' at how cute the children are, and you may even see the bride and groom dance once before getting caught up in a conversation with dear Aunt Edna.
Perhaps one of the biggest disgraces in the entire reception is the fact that the bride and groom typically stay to the very end, even stopping to help the Relief Society clean up. Where is the big send-off? Where is the rice throwing and the limo decked out with 'Just Married' signs? Has anyone seen 'Steel Magnolias?'
MAJOR FLAW #4: Finally, a word about refreshments. Everyone knows the real reason to attend a reception is for the food. Those couples who feel it is all right to scrape by with Ritz crackers and sparkling grape juice are fooling themselves. The wedding cake is only one part of a successful refreshment menu. Most non-LDS receptions have full, sit down dinners. The guests are not necessarily expecting prime rib or jumbo shrimp, but a little hors d' oeuvres plate is certainly acceptable. After all, the guests are providing some fairly decent gifts, and they deserve some quality refreshment for their trouble.
There is no secret recipe for a successful reception, but there are definite red flags that should be avoided. When planning the reception, think of what you would enjoy and then plan accordingly. The best way to avoid the reception 'yawn' is to put yourself in the uncomfortable church shoes of your guests and decide what it is they would like to see.