In one week, I will become a BYU alumnus. I am done. History. I'll be relegated to sit with the old people on the westside of Cougar Stadium, where I will be limited to standing up and cheering only three times a year.
As I look back, I realize I will miss many things that made BYU unique. For example, no where else do normal people camp out for eight hours to see a two-hour movie (I'm not counting Trekkies as normal people). At most football games, you don't see fans imitating kernals of popcorn. And where else do people say 'fetch' even though there's not a dog in sight -- this used to bother me but I've decided it's better than the alternative I will likely be hearing more often.
Of course, there will be some things that I definitely won't miss. Getting my eye poked out by umbrellas that are being used when it SNOWS (a small hint to all California and Arizona natives). Standing in long lines for (fill in your place of choice). Spending 20 minutes trying to find a parking space on campus because I didn't want to make the 10-minute walk.
I'm the first person to admit there have been some disappointments and failures in my college career. I never received the coveted Intramural Champion T-shirt. I didn't win a car at the BYU basketball Midnight Madness event. I didn't capture the BYUSA presidency when I staged a write-in campaign with Craig Craze (BYUSA still has not responded to my requests for a recount). I still don't know how to find a book in the library without asking someone for help.
But despite those setbacks, I have enjoyed my four years at BYU. I have had some good opportunities at BYU that I don't think I would have found at another university. For example, where else can you learn the word 'idiot' in three different languages by just asking your roommates?
I have also had good professors while I've attended this school. I have had only a handful of poor teachers, but that is not many considering I have taken approximately 432 classes now (give or take a few hundred). I wanted to list some of my favorite professors, but I was afraid I might leave some out. If you want to know if you are one of my favorites, just look back at your records. If you gave me an 'A,' I like you.
Most of my education, however, has come from outside the classroom. Without firesides and Devotionals, BYU is not BYU. Being able to hear the prophet talk about what kind of students and people we ought to be has prepared me for life more than any class I could take.
I have even learned from football, volleyball and basketball games, where I have seen a particularly obnoxious fan in the stands and thought: 'So this is what the prophet is warning us from becoming like.' And honestly, do you think you can find another place with more people praying than Cougar Stadium on a Saturday afternoon? There's nothing like watching people practice their religion.
Learning does not just come from studying. It comes from participating, from trying new things. A student's success should not be measured by his or her merely a grade point average (at least I hope not, or else I'm in a lot of trouble). BYU students who do not take advantage of opportunities outside of class are shortchanging themselves.
Anyway, that's it -- my last column, my last hurrah. May the buttered side of your toast always land face up. Bye-bye.