By MATT WEST
Don't let the official title 'Surfer Matt' fool you -- I'm about as seasoned on the Internet as Lucky Charms are salty.
But seeing that sometimes we all need a little spice in this breakfast cereal we like to call life, I decided it was time to come face-to-face with my foe: the World Wide Web.
It was time to take a 'journey,' shall we say; a journey of the unknown into which I am inviting you, my dear reader, to come along.
My first knowledge of the Internet came as I was returning from my mission to Brazil. During a layover in the Atlanta airport, I encountered a young married couple, BYU graduates who affectionately referred to me as 'Elder.'
During our conversation I asked the token question: 'So ... what's new in the U.S.?'
After a moment of silence, the gentleman's eyes filled with excitement. He leaned forward in his chair and proceeded to spin me a tale of a magical, mystical super-highway that reached from the comfort of our homes to foreign lands.
My RM imagination soared as I pictured stretches of gold and fairy-dust roads solving the world's transportation problems. He then whetted my appetite with the words, 'You too, Elder, can have a piece of that highway.'
'Wow,' I said. 'I've never bought interstate shares before.'
Luckily, I sold my I-15 shares before construction began and invested in a computer.
I still remember the first time I actually 'surfed.' After hours of just trying to find the cursor in the search box, I reluctantly settled for double-clicking on the 'What's Cool?' button. I was immediately overwhelmed with a wave of cool items from around the world.
So I've got my first 'baby-step' homepage and the hardware to set out on this journey. And I have a long and vast history of computer experience to assist, strongly rooted in a high school word-processing course -- OK, so maybe that's about the extent of my computer experience. But it was enough to dispel foolish ideas that I had been spoon-fed throughout my childhood, like an 'Apple' is a fruit of any tree of the genus Malus, round in shape and red, yellow or greenish in color; and that a 'mouse' is a small rodent with a pointed snout, small ears and a slender hairless tail.
I guess I just have this strange yearning for knowledge. Call me a university student, but I like to learn about new things and explore strange, new worlds. Oddly enough, I'm quite taken to water sports, too.
And thus my quest: to surf where no ... um, Matt West has surfed before. And to come to know and love this thing called the Internet.
So write me, teach me, and tell me what you know about the net. Each week I'll review cool and unique websites, relate net experiences, and try to answer frequently asked questions (F.A.Q.)
But remember: Don't let the official title fool you.
(Send your Internet tips, advice, and sites to Surfer Matt at 2150 ELWC, or e-mail him at west@du2.byu.edu