By MARCI VON SAVOYE
11-year-old Nicole Hadley weaved around a few obstacles to complete her school project on genetics. While the rest of her class returned to school and reported on the similarities between themselves and their parents, Nicole, an African-American, could not relate due to the lack of genetic resemblances shared with her white parents.
After some five years of marriage and no children, Camille and Steve Hadley of Pleasant Grove decided they must adopt. They knew that going through LDS Social Services was an extensive, lengthy process. They also knew that requesting a black or bi-racial baby would decrease the length of the emotional roller coaster ride caused from waiting to adopt. A year later baby Nicole was in their arms.
'Is it really fair to bring them into a white culture?' Camille asked herself the question over and over before adopting Nicole.
Soon after Nicole came Quinton, who is also 11, then Preston, 8, Kalin, 7 and Kayloni, 6. Each Hadley child is either black or biracial.
'We get a lot of stares (when we go out), but actually we got to the point where we don't notice them,' Steve said.
'They needed homes and we needed kids,' Camille said. 'This is the way it was supposed to be ... we've had too many confirmations of that.'
Camille said white families adopting children of other races have become increasingly more common in Utah County, and to meet the plethora of concerns white parents have in adopting children of another ethnic group, support and learning groups have been created to help racially mixed families, like the Hadleys.
David Rivers, a senior from Provo majoring in elementary education, and his wife Susan were also unable to have their own children. Susan has two children from another marriage, thus the Rivers were unable to adopt a white baby. Having existing children is one factor which often impedes a couple's request for a white baby.
One of Susan's worries was the appropriate care for Natalie, especially her three-year-old black daughter's hair and skin. African-American skin and hair get very dry and need to be well moisturized; many moisturizing products on the market are made for white skin and hair and are therefore not as effective.
Camille said one reason her family subscribes to Ebony Magazine is because they advertise products explicitly designed for the hair and skin of African-Americans.
A greater concern for the Rivers and the Hadleys, and probably most white parents of black and bi-racial children, are the problems they anticipate when their children are of the dating age.
'I worry about the day when somebody asks one of them out and then calls back, after going home and talking to their parents, and their parents have a fit,' Camille said.
David said he and Susan will support Natalie in dating white boys. He said because the bi-racial trend tends to be a white girl with a black boy as opposed to a black boy with a white girl, and because he does not know where his family will be living when Natalie is old enough to date, he is not sure what will happen in Natalie's dating future.
'Depending on where we live she might not have the option to date within her race,' David said. 'I think we're typical LDS parents. I hope she can find a guy that can take her to the temple.'
Steve said all families feel anxiety before adopting any child, despite the color of the child's skin. But when a family decides to adopt a child of another race, more possible problems are thrown into play. Camille said she and Steve tried to trouble-shoot many of the possible issues before they arose, and many issues they were expecting to deal with did not materialize.
The Rivers were afraid members of their family would not accept a black child. David said his father-in-law was prejudiced when he first learned that his daughter would be adopting a black baby, but his father-in-law soon made a complete about-face.
Unlike families who adopt children from their same race, the Hadleys and the Rivers did not have to deal with the common issue of 'should we tell the child he is adopted?' It is of course obvious that children are adopted because of the different skin colors and ethnicity traits between the children and their parents.
'You can't ignore that they're different, but you need to accept who they are,' David said.
Both the Hadleys and the Rivers are trying to instill in their children a sense of their culture. The Hadleys annually celebrate Civil Rights Day. Camille said during their family home evenings they will talk about the principles that Martin Luther King Jr. stood for and how their family can deal with racism.
'The only way you'll change people's attitudes and prejudices is by proving to them that you are a good person,' Camille said.
Their children have also sung in a black choir and their home is filled with books about other African-American heroes. Around the holidays, their home is decorated with a black Santa Claus and a nativity scene that includes a black shepherd.
The Rivers celebrate Kwanza, an African Christmas celebration, with Natalie and also get her involved in black awareness month.
Susan said there are groups of African-Americans who vehemently oppose blacks being adopted into white households, but neither the Hadleys nor the Rivers have felt any animosity from the African-American community towards their families.
The Hadleys and the Rivers said they would support their children in searching for their biological parents, if their children ever feel the need. Not all adopted children, however, feel this need.
Enoch Chapman, 20, from Derry, N.H., currently lives in Provo, and said growing up he was the only non-white person he knew. Enoch, born in El Salvador, was adopted by the Chapmans, a white family. Enoch said his main desire is not to meet his biological parents, but to return to El Salvador to learn more about his culture.
'I had to realize that where I am now, I am in a better situation. A lot better than what I would have had. Now I am with people who care about me,' Enoch said.