There comes a time in every athlete’s career when they have to make the most difficult decision of their life — to step away from the game.
For some, the decision comes slowly, steadily, something they could put off for “just five more minutes.” For others, the decision is made for them in an instant.
Softball player Jaelynn Lambert had her career stolen from her just two weeks before her senior season at BYU. What was once something she could save for “five more minutes” — or rather, one more season — became urgently present. Fourteen days before her final season, Lambert’s career was suddenly over.
Her final swing wasn’t a grand slam in the season opener or an RBI base hit. It was a quiet swing at batting practice, in front of an empty stadium, before a preseason blue-and-white scrimmage.
Lambert has been dealing with back pain for “as long as she can remember,” mentioning that it was a shooting pain from her lower back to her glute area. After countless trips to the chiropractor and massages, January came.
Finishing her batting practice round before a blue-and-white scrimmage, Lambert immediately knew something was wrong. Her leg was numb, she was in indescribable pain, and she burst into tears.
“Everything hurt. I couldn’t use the restroom, I couldn’t get out of bed … just everything hurt,” Lambert said, recalling this career-altering moment.
This was far from Lambert’s first injury. She came into the program with an injury from the summer before her freshman year, had a shoulder injury that required surgery, and has sustained five or six concussions.
“If you were to ask anyone that knows me or my journey, they would say I’m either always hurt, or it’s hard for me to stay healthy. I’m going on three surgeries now,” she said.
Softball head coach Gordon Eakin only had the best things to say about Lambert, or Jae, as he calls her.
“It’s been one thing after another with Jae … and she has faced them all with optimism, and she’s never complained. She’s been a great teammate throughout the whole time,” Eakin said, reflecting on Lambert’s time with the program.
However, this injury was the final straw for Lambert, who wants to be a mom one day. In a conversation with her trainer, she realized stepping back from the game was best for her in the long run. Softball would only be her life for the next five or so months before she graduated, and then a new chapter would begin.
“I sat down with [my trainer] and our assistant coaches, and they said, ‘Look, you want to be able to run in the backyard with your kids, pick your kids up, do things with your kids.’ … It’s one of those things where I knew I had to make a decision for my overall life, not just for softball,” Lambert said. “I knew that if I didn’t get the surgery, I risked my back getting worse.”
Eakin, despite being short players with injuries, has shown nothing but support for “Jae” and her health.
“Jae’s decision to step away was not just based on one injury. It was based on a career of setbacks and injuries,” Eakin said. “I think Jae was just, rightfully so, ready to move on from the work and never really getting the dessert.
”He continued, saying, “Jae will be surely missed in our program for the type of person and teammate that she is.”
While Lambert’s playing career may be over, softball isn’t leaving her life anytime soon.
In addition to coaching and giving private lessons, Lambert has taken up a new role within the softball team. She does anything and everything the coaches ask of her. In the face of her new journey, the most surprising role they’ve given her was to be a light, motivating the team when they’re down and pushing them in the right direction.
That role can get hard, especially when her teammates take their ability to play for granted.
“If they’re not playing good, they can be like, ‘Well, I don’t even want to play,’” she said. “You could be in my shoes and never play again, but here you are … it’s frustrating.”
Though she knows this is the best choice for her life, that doesn’t make it any easier. This time, it’s not just another surgery.
“Initially, I don’t think it really hit me what I decided to do … as these weeks have gone by, where the team’s playing and I’m not, I’ve kind of gotten a little more emotional, just knowing that I’m never going to play again,” Lambert said.
As Lambert has gotten more used to staying in the dugout, the same supercut seems to replay over and over: memories of her first career home run, her first catch coming back from surgery, singing in the locker room with her teammates, rounding third base and into home. Those are the things she’ll miss most.
“That’s the part that’s hurting me the most. That adrenaline and excitement, I won’t feel that ever again," she said. "I’m not going to miss practices or stuff like that. It’s the excitement and adrenaline that I won’t get again. That’s been defeating me recently."
Through it all, her love for the game has stayed the same, though it’s taken a new form. It’s shaped who she is today. Mental toughness, communication and teamwork are the three things she’ll take with her throughout her life.
She’s using her experiences to teach those around her. If one of her girls is hurting, she preaches taking care of herself with proper stretching and mechanics. She’s turned herself into an example of what not to do when a player is hurting.
Off the field, she’s using her experience as a way to preach kindness and empathy, as several of her injuries have been invisible to the naked eye.
“You don’t know what someone’s going through. You don’t know how it’s affecting them," she said. "Just be kind to people, because you don’t know how truly they are struggling and what they’re dealing with.”
Amazingly, there is not a bitter bone in Jaelynn Lambert’s body.
“I’m going to remember my time here as one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I’m so grateful for it. To be here and play at this level, and to be here for five years, it’s just an overwhelming feeling of emotions.”
