While BYU rugby is always adding new athletes, this season came with its own challenges: blending rookies with returners, building chemistry quickly and learning to trust one another.
That’s where the team’s captain and leadership stepped in, shaping not just the play on the field but the culture around it.
For captain Abby Whitney, stepping into leadership changed her perspective on the field.
“The way I play and carry myself is something that should be modeled by everyone else on the team,” Whitney said. “It affects how I treat the girls, especially the new ones, because in our program, anyone can try out, learn the sport, and become great. So, I try to treat everyone with the same respect and understanding and help them at their different levels.”
Whitney quickly learned that leadership wasn’t just about instruction; it was about being present.
“I’ve tried to be there early and be available for whoever needs help,” she explained. “I’ll give them my number and tell them I’ll be there whenever, wherever. It creates a lot of stress in my own life, but it helps me understand where people are at so I can help them individually, not just be this figure who’s ‘in charge.’”
That type of support became essential as new players grappled with the steep learning curve of rugby.
“There was a point where a lot of people were overwhelmed and didn’t know what they signed up for,” Whitney said. “But as we worked with them and helped them see that rugby can be for anybody, they started to love it.”
Dana Neff, part of the leadership under the captain, said leadership required more patience and empathy than she expected.
“It made me be nicer,” she laughed. “I can’t just go in and yell at people; I have to say, ‘Hey, this is what we do now,’ and check in on them. It makes you look outside yourself.”
She said the biggest need on the team this season was approachability.
“The girls who just came in needed someone to listen,” Neff explained. “Rugby is hard, and we teach it so fast. A lot of girls get frustrated. I had a lot of girls come to me saying they didn’t understand something, so being approachable was important.”
While Neff focused on communication and emotional openness, Kalissa Brooks emphasized being someone her teammates could trust with their questions and doubts.
“Giving them advice on how to fix what they’ve been doing, helping them improve, and just being a friend was really important,” Brooks said.
On the field, leadership also meant stepping up when it mattered most. For Brooke Thomson, being part of the leadership pushed her performance to a new level.
“It definitely pushed me to be a better player because I want to help out and be an example,” she said. “If I’m ever tired, I remind myself I have a responsibility.”
Her new position demanded reliability.
“I was put in a brand-new position this year, and it was really important to make my one-on-one tackles because I was the fullback,” Thomson said. “Knowing my team was counting on me pushed me to work harder so we could have the results we needed.”
But the toughest parts of the season, errors, losses, injuries, and exhaustion, required something more than just strategy or skill. The captain and leadership found that the key to motivation was building genuine connection.
For Whitney, it always came back to relationships.
“Motivation is loving the girl next to you,” she said. “Love for the sport comes and goes; it can get tiring, or it can hurt you, but loving and trusting your teammate, that sisterly bond, that’s what helps you get through things.”
Neff kept her group laughing, even during the hardest weeks.
“My group is goated,” she said. “I send them memes every night at like nine o’clock. We all have rat tails, too. Bonding within our groups made practice fun.”
Thomson focused on emotional reassurance during games.
“If a girl dropped a ball or missed a tackle and I could see it bothered her, I’d go give her a pat on the back or a hug and tell her, ‘You’ve got the next one,’” she said. “When people do that for me, it boosts my confidence, so I try to pass that on.”
And Brooks emphasized helping players out of mental ruts.
“A lot of girls get in their heads and feel like they can’t do it,” she said. “Today one girl was struggling, so I had her watch funny videos with me. It got her out of her mood, and then we went back out to practice. Helping them get out of that depressed period and back into it—that’s how I try to motivate them.”
Through all their different styles, one theme centered the captain and leadership: love. Love for the sport, but more importantly, love for each other. And for a young team learning and growing together, that love became the foundation that carried them through the season.