7 stages of grief for when your roommate gets engaged, as expressed by ‘Friends’


If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it’s bound to happen. You’ll be sitting at home, doing nothing in particular, and the front door will burst open and in comes your roommate.


Whether you want to admit it or not, your life is about to change. To help you feel normal about your grieving process, here are seven typical stages of grief for the person with a newly engaged roommate.

1. Shock 

Whether you saw it coming or not, chances are you may face some shock. While your roommate is excited beyond belief, you may suddenly feel like your best friend was kidnapped while your back was turned.

2. Denial 

Even though all of the sudden your roommate’s fiancé is occupying your spot on the couch and your spot at the kitchen table you start to think everything will go back to normal soon. Roommates always take priority, right? Slowly you start to realize you would rather be anywhere your engaged roommate is not. You try to convince yourself that this will wear off in a few days. It probably will be at about the same time as your roommate’s announcement of engagement on Facebook stops holding the No. 1 spot on your top stories newsfeed.

3. Anger

As reality starts to set in you begin to realize you are losing your roommate and your relationship will probably never be the same. You start to regret the one time your roommate got into a fight with his/her fiancé and you stayed up through the night with your roommate eating ice cream. Everyone talks to you about your roommate’s engagement. It is like you don’t even exist anymore. But, because you truly love your roommate, you act like everything is okay.

4. Annoyance

Wait, this is your apartment too! What gives your roommate permission to take over the living room every single day? You start to remember the days when you had conversations with your roommate about something other than wedding plans and where every sentence didn’t start with, “Well the other day my fiancé and I …” You consider making a paper chain to count down the days until their wedding, also known as the day your life goes back to normal.

5. Release

Eventually you and your roommate have a heart-to-heart. You both realize you are more than roommates, you are bff’s. You say things to each other worthy of a Hallmark card and hug it out.

6. Bitterness

All of the sudden it crosses your mind that the real reason you’re upset is because you’re jealous of your roommate’s happiness. Life as a single BYU student has never been fun. You start to want what your roommate has: stability, happiness and hope.

7. Acceptance

Eventually you accept your roommate’s engagement and your lack of an engagement. It may take time. It may take some binge Netflix watching. It may take lots of food. In the end, everything is okay.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email