6 classmates who make you feel like you’ll be the only jobless loser


School’s wrapping up, and you’re not sure what you have to show for it. You’re stressed about your future. The last thing you want to do is talk to your classmates about their plans, because apparently, everyone else has it all figured out. Here are six classmates who make you feel like you’ll be the only jobless loser:

1. Super intern

It seems impossible, but this classmate has already interned at 10 big-time companies and has undoubtedly received job offers from several of them. While this classmate is weighing options, you’re still trying to get your first internship.

2. Job already lined up

Finishing school is just a technicality for this classmate. With a job waiting and a beautiful apartment picked out in San Francisco, this classmate’s future makes you stay up at nights, stressing about how you’re going to pay the bills. This classmate was typically a former super intern.

3. World traveler

He or she may not have a lot of job experience, but this classmate has studied abroad all over the globe. You may think your résumé looks better than the world traveler’s, but by comparison, you’re an uncultured swine who hasn’t seen the world and doesn’t know how to make it out there.

4. Heir to the throne

This classmate is attempting a business degree, but whether he or she gets it doesn’t really matter. His or her dad owns a company and wants to keep it in the family. It’s not about what you know, right?

5. Pro athlete

This classmate is going to class to maintain athletic eligibility. He or she is a shoe-in for professional athletics, and if pro competition doesn’t pan out, coaching or broadcasting is always an option. Not you, though. Your genes didn’t cooperate.

6. Summer salesman

This classmate (who served in the same mission as you) has been pulling in $40,000 a summer selling pest control and alarm systems. He or she took last semester off to sell year round, and frankly, why go back to school? You’re staying up late studying and won’t make $40,000 in any summer. Ever.


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