If you’re like me, you may run your date through a bit of a compatibility test. You get to know them and formulate an assessment based on your perception of their compatibility with you. But what if, as you continue going on dates, no one really ever seems like the perfect fit? How do you ever choose?
It’s normal to select a date based on your own interest, but when you’re together, try to separate your perceived wants and needs from them a little in your mind. Don’t judge everything about them against whether it fits with you, is attractive to you, or whether you can tolerate it. Try to see them the way God sees them.
When you fall in love with someone, it’s your appreciation of their divinity that ultimately matters. You see them as possibly the most wondrous being that ever existed, even though they are human like the rest of us. But you have seen more than just what they are now, which is wonderful but imperfect, to what they can be, which is Infinite. With someone in whom you can see divinity clearly, your attraction can become multi-faceted and complete. It is based in charity — in seeing and loving someone as God sees and loves them. The compatibility question, then, can be changed from only, “Are they a good fit for me?” to also, “Am I developing a deep capacity to love them as God does?”
Overly idealistic? Perhaps. But next time you’re on a date with someone, why not try thinking about it? No matter who your date is, you’ll probably appreciate them more. And if they are “the one” you’ll finally choose, maybe you’ll start to see it.
Emily Bean
Corning, New York
