It seems to me that there are themes that run through people’s lives. Looking back on the last year I feel like there has been a constant theme in my life as well as in the lives of many around me. This theme has been largely about accepting the unknown and believing things will work out.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talks in Conference, or anywhere really, are so powerful. This last Conference was no exception. As I sat and listened to Elder Holland’s talk, I felt like it spoke right to my soul. Probably because it did. As Elder Holland talked about believing even when we don’t have a knowledge I felt that he was speaking directly to me.
For the last year, I feel like this has been the theme of my life. I’ve always been a big planner. So when I got off of my mission and things didn’t work out like I expected them to, I was at a loss. Ironically in my life, as I’m sure many of you can relate, most things don’t work out how I plan them to. Yet somehow I still have expectations for how things should go.
To some degree I’ve always at least had an inkling of how things would work out in my life. Even in the moments when things seemed hard and the task in front of me impossible, I still somewhere deep down had knowledge that things would out. In high school I always planned on attending BYU and deep down knew that’s where I would end up. The years leading up to my mission I worked hard on my journalism degree while knowing that I would someday serve the Lord as his missionary.
Everything changed when I came home from my mission. Although I had about a year left of school, the question was this: Well, after I graduate, what then? For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure that everything was going to work out. Life throws us unexpected turns sometimes. It’s just how things are. As much as I try, I can’t plan everything out in my life. Sometimes there is an unforeseen path.
Although at first frustrated and confused with my lack of knowledge about the future, I’m gradually starting to accept it. This is where it all comes back to Elder Holland’s talk about believing without a knowledge. As I stated before, this has been the theme of my year. While it’s been rough at times to learn this lesson, I’m grateful for it.
The other day while exiting my room I noticed the picture near my closet that I hung at the beginning of fall semester. In this picture there is a young woman with a blindfold over her eyes, holding a small lantern with the rest of the picture cast into darkness. Under the picture it says, “We walk by faith, not by sight.” Honestly I don’t think I’ve really looked at that picture closely in a long time, but in that moment I was struck. That was exactly how I felt.
After this past year, I’m learning to be grateful for believing and hoping in the future without knowing the end result. It’s taught me to rely more on the Lord and let go of the control a little bit.
If I have anything to say in my last editorial it would be to take the advice of President Monson from several Conferences ago and “enjoy the journey.” We can’t always predict how events in our lives will turn out, but we can enjoy the ride. Life is full of so many blessings if we just choose to look for them. Although it’s good sometimes to plan for the future, maybe we shouldn’t focus so much on that future that we forget to enjoy the moment. As I’ve been able to do that, I’ve found more peace as I believe we all can.
