People have different visions of how their life should go. When they’re young, the future seems ambiguous. But they all have to grow up sometime and actually make something of their lives. The conflict with making the decisions that will shape their future are often not just a person’s indecision but also the outside influence of people close to the them.
On some level we all are affected by the opinions of those around us, especially those that are important to us. Many people I know have grown up participating in activities that they knew their parents would approve of, or rebelling by purposely not participating in certain activities because they knew their parents wanted them to. A lot of this depends on the personality of the individual.
My mom always had the dream that one of her children would become a musician. When I started showing signs at an early age that I had talent in this area, she put me in all kinds of lessons. I think it was great how she always believed that any of us could be anything we wanted to be. I loved and still do love music, so when it came time for me to go to college, since this was one of the only things I really knew, I decided to major in music at BYU.
I’m not even sure where the idea of me studying music in college really came from. It just felt natural. However, toward the end of my freshman year in college, I was forced to take a second look at what I really wanted. When I really took a look at it, I realized that music was not really what I wanted to do with my life. While I would always love it, I did not want to devote my whole life to it.
When I broke this news to my parents, they were a bit confused. They never forced me to become a music major, even though I think I always knew this would please them. They just figured this was something we all wanted. Somehow along the way I had lost sight of what I really wanted and gone with what I had always known.
Generally, I’m a pretty independent person, but even with this personality trait I still have the natural desire to please those around me that I love. This is not altogether a bad thing. For instance, service to others can bring great happiness, but we must realize that there is a balance in also taking care of ourselves (which, to be honest, I’m not always the best at).
It’s hard to make a distinction between two good things, like honoring your parents and choosing the best option for yourself, especially when it seems that the two may conflict with each other. I believe, however, that we are doing a disservice to those we love as well as ourselves if we don’t make decisions for ourselves and instead choose to follow what is comfortable.
We all have to grow up sometime. With growing up comes hard decisions and choices that can affect our future, which can be a very scary thing. From the little experience I do have, I have been the happiest when I have made the hard decision, and stayed true to myself, even when the path did not seem so easy and I didn’t necessarily see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.
Sometimes you just have to start on the path that you think you want and see where it leads, and then, if it’s wrong, change directions. Isn’t that what growing up is all about? The learning curves in the process?
Ultimately after much struggle and a summer of indecision, I ended up taking a class with a friend in the communications department, which then led to me thinking about journalism. I am so much happier now. I love my major and can’t imagine at this moment having chosen anything else. Getting advice from those around me has been a great help in making decisions, but ultimately we all need to make the decisions for ourselves.
Things have not always been perfect, but by taking a chance I’ve ended up somewhere good, because I found something I truly wanted. I took a chance on something that was different and not the easiest of paths. I don’t know, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but the point is that we all need to make decisions for ourselves and stay true to that. It’s the only way we can reach the potential we are supposed to reach.
