Police Beat: Best of 2011


Suspicious Activity

Jan. 17 A student reported a male with orange hair and an orange beard looking suspicious in the Smith Fieldhouse. The student told police he had overheard the man telling a woman he liked babies. When officers arrived, no one saw a man with orange hair or an orange beard.

Mar. 2 Officers received a report of a van with fogged windows and seats removed from the vehicle. The caller suspected lewd acts were being committed in the van. Upon arrival, the officers discovered 10 fully-clothed individuals watching a movie.

Aug. 28 A suspicious person was reported to be lurking in the shadows at 67th and Wymount around midnight. It was a lost parent of a tenant.

Oct. 4 A woman was reported grilling chicken in the library. She said it was for a project requiring students to break a social norm.

Oct. 15 A fight was reported at Wyview Park. The caller reported four loud voices near the volleyball courts. Officers arrived and found a group of students playing a game of acting out adverbs. The adverb the individuals heard being acted out was “aggressively.”

Nov. 4 Chalk art was reported on the Joseph Fielding Smith Building steps to the basement reading, “Jesus was a socialist. Occupy.”

Disorderly Conduct

Jan. 24 A One-stop cashier called police when a male student began pounding on the office window after it had already closed. The cashier reported it was not a gentle knock, and so she locked the window. Police arrived and calmed the student, who was upset and crying because he had been removed from all his classes even though his tuition was paid.

Mar. 4 Microwaves from Helaman Halls were moved into the hall lounge, where someone destroyed them by running food in them for a considerable amount of time. When officers responded, they found the ruined microwaves along with charred remains of a burrito.

Traffic Violation

Jan. 19 A man returned to his parked car and found another car parked with its bumper touching his. The man did not know what to do, so he called the police. Officers asked the man to move his car backward. No damage was done.


June 29 A woman reported a man was stealing laundry from her at an apartment facility. The woman was mistaken — the laundry was his.

July 4 Somebody was reportedly stealing items from an apartment at Wymount Terrace. They were noted to be hauling off items including furniture and a television. When asked about the incident, the man was just moving between apartments.

Criminal Mischief

Oct. 26 A student returned to his car to find a note on the window demanding $50 because the student had taken another student’s parking space. The note threatened the student if he didn’t pay. Officers tracked down the writer of the note and charged him with extortion and terrorist threats. The student claimed the victim should be charged with theft for stealing his parking space. Officers informed the student that the university owns the parking spaces.

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